Monday, March 12, 2012

An ocean of emotion.

When your emotions are an ocean and you are damming the flow with Kleenex, one has to tread lightly at all times. But when monthly hormones get thrown into the mix? Forget about it. The ocean's tempest cannot be contained.

I'm a wreck.

All the feelings that I have been able to keep in check have risen to the surface.

Where is the peace?

All I can do today is pray.  Oh how I wish I could look into His eyes and hear him tell me, "All is well."

Despite my substantial support group, today...I felt alone. I confided in the Lord that I felt guilty that I wished our relationship was more tangible. I recognize that faith is hope for things not seen...but brain is taken over by human hormonal wiles. I am hurting.

But as I've learned so many times before, the man upstairs always finds a way to send me his love. He finds the best ways to answer my prayers, and in fact...he often uses each one of you as his vehicle.

Ryan's friend stole Ryan away for lunch and a movie today. And today, as I prayed for my peace to return...and maybe a little chocolate to pop up prayers were answered in one of the most unlikely of places.

The mailbox.

A generous check from a stranger. He read our story from another blogger.

A sweet card with the kindest note I have ever read.

A package full of Love from a friend.

Another envelope full of bracelets for the family:

and packaged lovingly at the bottom of the envelope...


I felt like He took my hand today, and wiped my tears away through friends.

I'm almost embarrassed to say this is just the tip of the iceberg. We have been the recipients of SO much kindness. How can we despair? Goodness seems to cancel out all the bad.  Love is prevailing.

A friend gave Ryan the book, "It's Not About the Bike." By, Lance Armstrong. Ryan read me this quote last night from its pages...

"When I was sick, I saw more beauty and triumph and truth in a single day than I ever did in a bike race."

Ryan and I would like to echo his sentiments.

Your good thoughts, prayers and love are our answered prayers.

We are blessed for sure.


  1. what a beautiful post and I thank you for taking the time to write allowing us to keep a watchful eye and feel like we can help so so far away. We love you and your family all the wishes and prayers for you my dear friend.

  2. Praying for you daily. I often feel my faith and strength aren't much. But if I could send you what little I have, I would. You need it more than I do.
    <3 you guys.

  3. I love you, Meri. I'm praying. Forever praying.

    Amy Lederer

  4. Continuing to pray for you and your family. I wish for you the strength and peace to get through this. God does work in mysterious ways and he knows you need the love of friends now more than ever so that's what you got! Love to you Meri.

  5. He always knows what we need and when we need it. Sure, it's hard to trust His timing sometimes, but it's always perfect.
    I saw a quote today (embarrassed a bit to say it was on pintrest, but whatever!) it said People cry not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for too long. Sometimes we just have to let those tears judgement from this cry baby! ;)
    Lifting you and your precious family in prayer every time I think of you...which is often!!!

  6. I strongly believe that God is working in this situation. And not just for you and Ryan and your family- but for those blessed enough to know you!! You are both blessings to all of us! As much as you think you have been blessed - it's been returned as well! Love you!

  7. Sending you lots of love and prayers! Still wish I could be your neighbor and offer you a tangible hug and some free babysitting though. Love you and your family, Meri!

  8. Lots of Love and Hugs, Meri!

  9. Such a beautiful post. Such a beautiful blessing :o)

  10. Well Meri, you have allowed God to use you in so many ways for all of us, we are blessed just knowing you. Now it is our turn to allow God to work through us. Have a great day (hugs) :)

  11. I don't even know you, and this blog gave me chills. God is so big, and so strong, so omnipotent, and so lovingly concerned with the very intimate details of our lives. Praise his name-Abba, Father, Master and Creator, King of Kings and Lordof Lords-today and every day. May you continue to feel buoyed through those He sends your way to show love and tenderness .

  12. God is big enough and He is mighty enough. Even in the smallest of ways, He delivers! Meri, I pray for your family daily, and I will not stop. So many verses come to mind when I think about this journey your family is on. Today, it's 2 Cor. 4:7-9. I share your story with so many in the hopes of sending up more prayers for your precious family. May God continue to give you peace and strength. This song keeps playing in my head: "No promise of an easy road, just a destination. Next time you forget your hope, somebody's waiting. Soon as you open your eyes, you'll realize it's alright. Everything will be OK. You just hold tight, I'll be with you the whole way. When you're weak, He'll be strong. Keep going, you're almost home." - "It's alright" by Brandon Heath - When you are weak, He will be strong!

  13. And I am blessed to have you as a friend, Meri. It is a privilege to pray for your family.

  14. Praying for your hubby, you and your family. I am hopeful a miracle will occur through use of those new drugs. Glad someone mailed you some chocolate; chocolate always helps. You have helped so many; surely God will answer your prayers.

  15. Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing the beautiful hand of God in your life!! Praying for you and your family.

  16. Even in the most difficult of times in your life..and your trials are far worse than mine.. you always manage to lift my spirits, Meri. Again, you are so amazing.. God will see you and your family through this, due to your amazing strength, faith, hope, and love. Hugs to you!!

  17. It is amazing how God works through the most difficult of times. May God continue to wrap you in his loving care, and bring your family peace,comfort and healing. God Bless you and I will be praying for his many blessings on your family.

  18. You and your family are in my thoughts. I'm sending you strength and peace.

  19. My thoughts and love remain with you and yours sweet, sweet Meri.

  20. Thanks Meri for the update, God bless you all. I'm continuing to pray, I know He is listening.

  21. beautiful beautiful post, thanks so much for keeping us all updated on what's going on with you guys, we really appreciate it. <3

  22. Love you, Sweet Bloggy Friend. I'm praying for you every single day. Know that you are loved.

  23. Amazing post - so glad you have people reaching out from all directions! You need to write a book after all this.

  24. I love that book-it's wonderful. : ) And we prayed for you guys on the way to school again today. Just know you are teaching compassion to people everywhere, even my kids. God will lead you through it, I promise. Do what you can to rein control over your emotions, but know they are NORMAL. We'll see you through too. May God bless you today, and show you His love, visibly. We keep praying. Love you girl!!


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