In some circles, it’s a stigma attached to parenting a child
with diabetes. If one admits to doing
nighttime checks, one is fear mongering, and working from a state of
unreason.
And in some circumstances I've seen it serve as a dividing line between parents
in the online community. Today I would
like to set differences aside and outline why I often find myself doing the
nighttime check.
(Other than the fact that I have three boys with Type 1,
which gives me triple the reason to get up.
Obviously.)
ONE: The A1C. Nighttime is half of my boys’ lives. It is much easier to control their blood
sugar at night when they are still and not eating, than it is during the day
when they eat, run, feel, and generally rule the world. Is it easy to keep numbers in check at
night? Not necessarily…when they are
growing, or when they swam hours before, or after a big dinner at a Chinese
buffet, but it is a hell of a lot easier than during the day. If I can keep them in range during the night,
that is half the battle won. My boys
have A1Cs that are way better than they should be. The reason they are that way is because for
half their life, I’m in control.
TWO: Waking up with a
good number changes everything. It
catapults the succession of numbers for the rest of the day. If they wake up high, it generally takes
until lunch to sort things out, and then guess what? They eat and we start over playing
catch-up. If they wake up low, they EAT,
and often under-bolus and everything goes wonky. That’s on me, I know. But it’s hard to
negotiate just what they need and when they need it. I’m not magic. In another vein, I’ve had to learn to let go
on nights I really need sleep. Putting
my needs above my boys has been a hard pill to swallow, but in some cases,
necessary.
THREE:
Unpredictability. I can count on
one hand how many times I have done the nighttime check and have not given
insulin or food. An argument can be
made that if blood sugars are always off, and you always have to do nighttime
checks…then something is wrong with the basal insulin amounts. That is a very true statement. But only applicable when things are
routine. I’ve learned the hard way that
our family falls into routine only about 50% of the year. The other 50% there are extenuating
circumstances. Like Pizza. Sleep overs.
Field day. Illness. (Some colds last for weeks. They change everything.) Growth spurts. Getting back from scouts and realizing the boys
didn’t bolus for the treat given there…or sometimes, over-bolusing for the
treats given there. Sometimes they spend
the evening at grandmas house, and they do their best at carb counting but they
don’t know all the extra math I do in my brain to come up with the numbers I
do. Being at a friends and having Nerf
Gun fights that put them in a spiral of lows.
A kinked set. Bad insulin. Life isn’t static. Neither are the circumstance contributing to
nighttime numbers.
FOUR: Your diabetes
may very. There have been many many
nights when one or two of my boys just don’t need to be checked. I admit, I’m unique in my circumstance so
comparing you and me is like comparing apples to oranges in some
respects…but…you can bet your bahookie that if I’m up checking one, I’m going to
check them all. In the past 15 years
working with diabetes there have been too many times I’ve been up to check one,
courteously checked another, and found a low or a high that was completely out
of left field.
FIVE: Insulin pumps
fail. This may be the fearmonger in
me…but if my boy goes to bed in the 300’s…I need to know he is going down
before I lay my head down for the night.
I need to make sure that pump set is working, because we all know what
happens when someone doesn’t get insulin for 8 hours. It isn’t pretty, and yes, it can be
dangerous. It’s not why I check. But sometimes it is a contributing factor in my
decision-making. I need to know my child
is getting insulin before I let things go.
Now here is my disclaimer:
Nighttime checks for me usually entail a check between 11 and
midnight. The 2am check is reserved for
special circumstances which, as stated above, do happen frequently. I gauge each night, and the events leading up
to it and decide what is appropriate for my children in that moment.
***What is appropriate for MY CHILDREN in that moment.***
I understand some children don’t need nighttime checks. I understand some absolutely do. I also understand that adults with diabetes don't have all the contributing blood sugar factors that children with diabetes do when it comes to the nighttime. I’ve been able to see a real-life example of
Your Diabetes May Vary just by living with my three boys. I can’t do for one what I do for the
other. J’s diabetes is a completely
different animal than B’s diabetes. B’s
is far and away different than L’s. That
is why blanket comments like, “You don’t need to do nighttime checks,” or “You
must do nighttime checks or you are a neglectful parent,” hurt my heart.
Isn’t it ok for us all to do what we feel we need to
do?
We each need to take stock of our own psychological impulses
and decide if what we are doing is necessary or unhealthy. After Ryan passed, I had an unhealthy impulse
to check the boys multiple times during the night whether they needed it or
not. I was terrified of losing another
love in my life. Those were demons I had
to conquer, and for the most part, I’m proud to say I have.
I have bad nights now and then, but I almost always get
enough sleep to live a happy, full life.
If nighttime checks are affecting your life in a negative way, than a
heart to heart with your endo is needed, absolutely.
The bottom line is do what is right for you.
Please don’t construe my words as judging or lecturing in
anyway. I just thought it was time to
lay it all out on the table in hopes that I will be afforded an extra measure
of understanding, as I try to extend that same understanding to you.
I have slept through too many alarms to count and yes, my
children were alive in the morning. But
that feeling in my throat as lean against a bedroom door jam, waiting for their
chests to rise and fall in the morning is a terrible feeling.
I know you know that feeling.
It isn’t catapulted by fear as much as it is love.
We aren’t so different, no matter what our beliefs or
circumstances. We all love our
kids. And that’s all that matters.
