Monday, February 28, 2011

February Blogger Basal!

Basal is a curious thing. It is the silent hero in the war we fight every day. Drip Drip is easy to forget it is there. It is automatically programed to support our children's life...a hero for sure!

Blogger Basal is the silent hero as well. The steady stream of posts throughout the DOC blogosphere silently keep the hearts of readers pumping. It saves us emotionally. We are lifted up by the power of "same."

Today I am proud to host the February Blogger Basal and give you a sampling of the posts that steadily pumped out droplets of light into our souls. Instead of giving my take on the blogs...I'm going to let the bloggers use their own words to warm you...Let us begin!

Haley from NaturallySweett: Diabetes Camp and a Dash of Diabetesaliciousness.

"Diabetes camp is my "heaven on earth" that 2 hour drive is full of insane giggles and smiles. I know I will have the best week of the year, and it is so hard to keep in my excitement. The camp is amazing, the food is amazing, the activities are amazing, the staff is amazing, and my friends are amazing!"

Misty from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates: 2 Years Ago Today...

Haley from the above NaturallySweett wrote Ally a super sweet letter. Allison wrote her a letter back and asked her mother to post it on her blog on her Diagnosis Anniversary...Misty writes:

"My Sweet Allison has something to share. She wanted to write a letter back to Haley. The funny thing is that when we read the letter from Haley at the beginning of the week, she wanted to respond right away. Then she asked me if I could hold onto it and make sure that we sent it to her on Thursday, February 10. So here it goes..." (Click on over to read Ally's sweet letter!)

Kim from Texting my Pancreas: Reaching the Unreachable

Kim wrote a touching post about those out there in the blogosphere that we can't reach...the ones who need understanding and love the most. She writes:

"This Sister- and Brotherhood of the People With a Broken Pancreas - we have an amazing ability to help people live better by being open and honest about life with diabetes, and there are so many more that can be brought into the fold. We ourselves are proof of the power that community has, because of the changes we've seen it bring to our own lives. We have all felt that void - or recognized its existence only after having brought to light and sealed up - before." (Amen to that!)

Reyna over at Beta Buddies: Mixed Emotions on 7%

(We've all been here. We set the bar so high for ourselves!)

"A 7% is GOOD. So why in the heck am I feeling a little bummed? I realize it is ridiculous. And. I hope I am not offending anyone out there with my slightly heavy heart over a perfectly good number. I was secretly hoping for a 6.9% or a 6.8%. Yes, as I am typing this I realize I am a F*&@ Nut. 7% is fine and I should not get stuck in the "numbers trap" and I should not be hinging my emotions on a tenth or two tenth variance from my "desired" A1C. I am setting myself up for failure if I base my mental well being on a number, whether it be age related, weight related, grade related, or diabetes related."

Trev at Three2Treat: Exercise-Good or bad?

"Well, I believe it certainly helps with lowering the A1C and I must say, personally it has probably enabled me to survive 28 years with out complications, especially the first half of my life with D, prior to my understanding about tight control, MDI's, and Pump therapy." He also goes into the fact that it exercise is extremely complicated when it comes to being Type 1. He ends with..."So to answer the question; is exercise good or bad? I guess that depends on how prepared you are."

Donna over at The Sugar Kids Blog: We've Come A Long Way Baby!

Donna talks about an epic low that her son had during church service...

"All of this is not uncommon for us D peeps... we live and re-live this scenario over and over and over again. But, almost two and a half years after diagnosis I was able to do that entire scenario so quickly, so smoothly that no one around us even had a clue that there was something not right. All they saw was a tired little boy and girl sitting with their mama, and mama doing what she could to keep them quiet during mass. Only those sitting right next to us may have noticed the test being done and the juice coming out. The other difference: it used to really rattle me. This saving of my sons life in the middle of church... the grocery store... wherever. Now, its just something we handle. Quickly, quietly, and without incident."

Joanne at Death of a Pancreas: The Understudy

Joanne likens our roles as a pancreas to an unprepared understudy.

"But thankfully, I have always loved improv and I'm pretty good at thinking on my toes. And so here I am; with a pretty big role in a very important production. We're 2 1/2 years into our run and even though I've flubbed a few lines, been late to rehearsals a couple of times and had some diva moments where I've refused to come out of my dressing room, I think I'm doing a pretty adequate job in my role of pancreas."

Alexis at Justices Misbehaving Pancreas: Perception

"How things affect you can solely depend on how you perceive them. Diabetes sucks. We know this. Its bullshit. I hate it. You hate it. Our kids hate it. But tonight as much as I may want to write all the negative, all the things I hate the most I realized my mood, Justices mood, my feelings can be shifted If I change my perception." (This was a great post, and is on the exact same lines of a post I've had brewing in my head since yesterday. :)

Sara at the Ethan and Isaac Show: Grab your O.S. Handle you're in for a ride!

This analogy gave me a big smile. :)

"I'm not sure what other people call that little handle that is above all the passenger doors inside a car but I like to refer to it as the "O.S. handle." You know, the thing you grab right before you feel like yelling, "OH, S@#T!" Well, that's a bit how I feel with diabetes lately. Like stepping into the car with my husband..." (Just all husbands drive looking at the scenery, rather than at the road?? :)

Beth at The Beth Chronicles: I'm sorrrryyy. So Sorrryyy.

This is a post where she updates after a long absence of illness, (Boy, can I relate!) One of the things she did was help clean a homeless shelter. Beth writes:

"Saturday, T and I helped our church clean up from Room in the Inn. I met some homeless men and women there, some of whom I would have never thought were homeless if I had met them on the street. That was my first time I had met a homeless person. I never knew I had these misconceptions and stereotypes until my eyes were opened."

Amy at Diabpeepees: Things that go bump.

"Yes, that's a hospital bed you see. And, no, that's not my son wearing girly leggings. It's my 2 year old daughter in the ER. We found ourselves here just days after making payment plan arrangements to cover our 3 year old son's diabetes bills. And though I agonized about going in, I agonized more about not going in and paying the consequences."

(This post speaks too all our crazy mom moments. In the end, she knew she had to take care of her little one and forget about the pocketbook. :)

Michael Hoskins at The Diabetic's Corner Booth: Keeping The Faith For a Cure

Michael wrote this after the JDRF controversy...Money for a cure? Or Money for advancements toward quality of life?

"I'm sure there are many research ideas and various funding issues to delve into, but I'm not qualified to know about that. When it comes to what the JDRF has done for me: they're trying the best they can. I think as a layperson, and as someone who they are doing this all for, that provides me comfort. Regardless of whether I understand all the decision-making and annual report confusion or not... I'll leave the rest to people much smarter than me."

Kandice at Cherished Children: An Unfair Opponent

There have been quite a few deaths in our community this year. Kandice ponders what we can do...

"The problem, however, lies in the fact that even if we were to do every single thing "correctly", T1D doesn't follow the rules. There are so many variables (growth, hormones, activities, nightmares, etc.), that we can never care for our children perfectly. It is in this helplessness, that we continue to do our best, hoping and praying that our child will always wake up the next morning. There have been so many mornings I go to wake up Joyful Monkey and I find myself holding my breath. I guess, I just know that I can't completely control it."

Ashley at Tales of SWAGing: Another Day, Another Retraction

Ashley talks about the misinformation being thrown out there in the media, and the weak retractions that are issued after our community gets up in arms...

"This misinformation, even when it’s retracted, hurts me. And it hurts my community. These people make their retractions and apologies and go about their business. My fellow PWDs and I - as well as our Type 3s - are quite literally bombarded with these myths at every turn. Everyone I come in contact with fancies himself a diabetes expert. Everyone except those of us who know that there’s no such thing."

Amy over at Three*Thirty*Three: Receiving is pretty awesome, too.

Amy won a giveaway and shares the joy with her readers. There are currently many giveaways around the blogosphere! Don't miss out! Amy says:

"Being a parent of a child with a chronic illness, I often find myself depleted and exhausted. The simple nature of T1D is you must give over and over again 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of the year . . . you get the picture. Sometimes receiving is pretty awesome too."

Diane from Our Type 1 Trip: New View

"First there is the mom in Julia's class who, in my opinion, is determined that her daughter will have Type 1 diabetes. (I am trying my best not to punch her.) Second was the person who asked me if Julia "still had that diabetes thing." (I didn't even know how to answer that.) Finally was an acquaintance who has no idea about Julia's diagnoses that asked me if I can finally take a deep breath now that both of my kids are in school all day. (I haven't been able to breathe since November.)"

But then she met someone who "gets it!" And it made the day SO much better.

Michelle at Sugar Coated: Disappointment and Determination.

"I'm trying hard to get over my disappointment. But I'm having a hard time with it because I feel like in some ways I've failed my little girl. I know that the higher her number, the higher her risk for complications later on in life. She's been battling this for just over 5 years now and she has many, many more years ahead of I want to make sure that we do the very best we can to keep her as healthy as possible!" (Man, don't we all have this same dialogue go through our head after a disappointing A1C!)

Denise from My Sweetest Boy: Give me a "D"
I liked this post so much, I'm printing it in its entirety!

Devastating diagnosis
Insulin dependent for life
Always on alert
Blood sugar roller coasters
Eat everything but count the carbs
Test throughout the day
Every day, every hour, every minute
Sugar is medicine

Tracy over at The Superhero and The Princess: Who's in charge...

Tracy writes on how she has taken over the basal adjustments for her son, while others are at the mercy of their endos...

"I have a few other T1 Mamas who I know are NOT allowed to make ANY changes on their own. Seriously. One of them was told that if she made any changes on her own or put her son back on his pump, they would call CPS. So, her son ran HIGH for days before they would call her back. The endo made her take him off the pump while he was in the hospital for ketones. He is still back on shots now, and this was a while ago."

Wendy at Candy Hearts: Candy Hearts Supports Life Of A Child

"It is estimated that there are 100,000 children with diabetes around the world who are in need of assistance to access insulin. Without insulin, these children will die within 1 week. $1 (or more) for each of these children. That's our mission. Let's get started."

Wendy has recruited vendors who are willing to give a percentage of their sales to Life Of A Child. The Candy Hearts Collection of Blue Circle Merchandise will bring in funds for insulin for the children who need it most. Click on over and check out her efforts!

Nicole at the WeCARALot Blog: Today is the day..."D" day!

Little Cara celebrated 2 years with Type 1 Diabetes...

"I realize now to mark or label a date with titles like anniversary allows us to realize and recognize how far we have come. It allows us to look back and learn from our mistakes, to find celebrations in our accomplishments and to look forward to the next coming years with new hopes and new dreams of what life will be."

Laura at Houston...we have a problem!: Tiger Mother Approach

Laura links to an article siting the Tiger Mother Approach. That is a very strict approach for managing children with Type 1. This approach was necessary back in the day when we didn't have the amazing tools we have today. Laura doesn't want to hold her son back...she wants to let go of the tiger. Laura writes:

"When Nate was diagnosed we took him out of his preschool class due to fear of the unknown. He’s spent the past year and a half with me but I took the leap last week and signed him up for pre-school starting in the fall. I am both excited and nervous at the same time. I've held him so closely to me since his diagnosis that I do believe he has missed out on things that his sisters got to experience. That stops now. Ready or not world --- here comes Nate!!"

Hallie of The Princess and the Pump: I Could Really Use That

"During the day... completely out of nowhere... came THIS conversation: Sweetpea: Dad, Do you think there will be a cure for diabetes? J: I sure hope so. We will do everything we can... and keep raising money so there can be a cure. Sweetpea: Thanks, Dad. I could really use that."

True dat Sweetpea! True dat!

Heather at Sweet to the soul: Dear Diabetes

Where Heather asks diabetes to back off for awhile. :)

"The problem is that you make my life much more complicated. My life is already complicated. I didn't need one more thing to make it even crazier. Seriously? Are you hearing me here? Especially the past week. The roller coaster you have put me and Lovebug on is just, well simply put; Hell. She doesn't feel good, I am even more exhausted then I normally am (up until now I didn't think that was possible) and my moods are as up and down as Lovebug's blood sugar numbers."

Lora at My Diabetic Child: Thanks

Lora has been having a hard time, my like myself. She posted what was in her heart, and true to form the DOC came to her side to support her in the comments section. Lora writes:

"THE purpose for this post is in response to some of the comments. I laughed through some of them, cried through some of them and then some made me think. Of course, I can relate to them all."

Jen at I Am Your Pancreas: 365:195 Here's To You

Jen blogs about the ups and downs in a 24 hour period. Her day ends with a support group meeting:

"Today, I joined in a monthly Diabetes Support Group. It always feels good to go and meet up with other parents in person and just tawlk (my NY accent is showing). One of the ladies in the group had a lot of extra insulin because she had just switched brands and brought them for some us to stock up on. It was funny to be there in the coffee shop, passing around baggies with vials of insulin like it was normal. Well, I suppose now it certainly is."

Kristi over at My Sugar Bugs: Celebrating Life

Kristi blogs about how her daughter ended up being admitted to the same hospital exactly 6 years to the day when she was admitted and diagnosed as Type 1.

"I have been asked by a couple of people in the past why we celebrate the anniversary of Bee's Type 1 Diagnosis. It must seem crazy to them to celebrate something that changed our lives, and not in a good way. So, I just explained to them that it's not the anniversary of the diagnosis we celebrate. It's the anniversary of the day her life was saved. That is how we look at it."

Heidi from D Tales: I'm Back

Where Heidi catches up on her hiatus! She begins with a heartbreaking battle that their family has been fighting on behalf of their son:

"On top of the health issues, school issues surrounding diabetes had become increasingly worse, so much so that we had to switch Jack’s teacher and place him in another class. Scratch that. We had to battle to ensure his safety at school. The process was upsetting, ridiculous and stressful. And then we had to train a new teacher. (I need to tell you, though, that it was all worth it. His new teacher is fantastic.)"

Lastly is lil' ol' me. :)

Meri at Our Diabetic Life: The most awesome thing I have done, in spite of diabetes is...

I didn't let a diagnosis stop me from having more children. That is a victory for sure!

"We were told we had a 3% chance of having a second child with diabetes. That is a 97% chance that we wouldn’t. But who cares about percentages. You never know where you will fall, so they are useless. All that is important is I have two of the most precious souls in the universe here in my home. Yes, they have diabetes. Yes, I wish they didn’t have to endure diabetes…But they are thriving. And they are happy. And they are part of a bigger picture."

Thank you for those that submitted your posts! And a double thank you to those who made it all the way through this one! Bravo!! (Holy longest post ever Batman!)

Next month Tracy at the Superhero and the Princess will be hosting the Blogger Basal. Be sure to submit your links to her!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Finding the warmth.

What do you do when you hit rock bottom?

What do you do when the wind is sucked right out of you and you’re just lost?

You can’t find the person you want to be…all you know is you are not the person you want to be.

I’m lost.

I’m in a funk.

How do I find my way back to happy?

The clutter of life is stifling my view. All I see is clutter. Where is the beauty? I know it is within my reach…I know it is right there, in front of me…but the clutter blocks the way.


How do you simplify a life such as ours? There is nothing simple here. Everything is complicated. Everything is harder than it should be.

I know what it is. It is my outlook. It is all within. I am creating the clutter. I am making it all harder than it needs to be. I know this because I have been here before. Too many times.


I know the part of me that sees the bigger picture is here. I know it is in my heart. I just need to turn the switch. Turn off the clutter…turn on the light.

But the darkness is overpowering. The light sits waiting behind a closed door…I can see the dim warmth shut behind the door.

I miss the warmth.

I think my family misses it too.

I know my family misses it too.

Where do I begin to like myself again?

I guess I need to start from the beginning…at the root of it all. It is just now occurring to me that I am trying to find my way back on my own, and all I’m doing is making myself more lost. I’m making a mess of things.

I need to ask for help. I’m not sure why I’m throwing this all out there, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not fighting the clutter alone.

We can’t do it alone.

We have to ask for help.

I’m going to drop to my knees now, and ask Him for help.

I know He will help me. I just don’t know why it has taken me so long to ask.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The most awesome thing I have done, in spite of diabetes is...

The most awesome thing I have done in spite of diabetes?

Hands down, easiest question ever...

These two little munchkins right here.

As most of you know, J was diagnosed when he was 8 months old. J is my second son...B and L wern't even on the radar yet.

It was scary, and deliriously confusing when we were told J had Type 1 Diabetes. We spent a week in the hospital…mostly for J to recover from his ketoacidosis…and a little bit because I needed to learn how to take care of my little boy. (The hospital obviously didn’t think this was too big of a deal, they sent me home with a book and my pediatricians home phone number. “Call him when you need to give insulin.” Yeah, that got old fast, for all of us involved.)

Anyway…back to the hospital….My husband or someone would try to come by once a day to give me a break. I would usually go down to the cafeteria and spend my time feeling guilty I wasn’t with J. I would silently sob in the corner and pick at my food.

One particular day I was in line for the food and already felt tears falling on my cheek. A friendly faced older lady put her hand on my shoulder. “What’s your story, honey?”

I told her how my second son had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and the new world we were being thrown in. I told her he was so sick and so skinny, it was hard to see him in such a state.

“Well at least you have two boys…since you won’t be having any more, you are very lucky to have them.”

Say what the huh?

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Really? I’m not having any more? Was she right? I mean that was the last thing on my mind…but did this mean it was the end of the line? Two and no more?

She wasn’t the only one to make this comment. Many others made comments to the effect that I better not have more, as I didn’t want to pass this on to another child.

Pass it on? Was I really passing it on? For awhile the answer in my mind was yes. I felt like this had to be my fault. I felt like J was being punished just so that I could learn to be a better person. (Diagnosis and lack of sleep do a number on your swelly brain!)

But the passage of time is a funny thing…

Time changes perspectives.

Time heals wounds, even mental ones.

And one day, I knew…we needed to have another.

And one day, exactly two years later, God sent us another.

And then yeah, THEN we were done.

Two years after our last son came into our family…diabetes made another appearance.

And one year later…another appearance.

Do I regret having these two boys? Hell no.

Do I feel responsible for their diabetes. No, no I don’t.

We are like lottery winners; no one could have predicted our lot. NO ONE.

We were told we had a 3% chance of having a second child with diabetes.

That is a 97% chance that we wouldn’t. But who cares about percentages. You never know where you will fall, so they are useless. All that is important is I have two of the most precious souls in the universe here in my home. Yes, they have diabetes. Yes, I wish they didn’t have to endure diabetes…

But they are thriving.

And they are happy.

And they are part of a bigger picture.

I can’t imagine life without B and L. Would I have had them if I KNEW they were going to have Type 1?

I think they would have hoped…that regardless of their circumstances, I would have said yes.

This post is my February entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at

Saturday, February 19, 2011 report!

Last Saturday I had the honor of attending, and participating as faculty at the TCOYD conference in Santa Rosa, California.

Amy Tenderich of Diabetes Mine asked to me to sit in a forum and discuss “living with diabetes online.”

Most of you know I was extremely ill the previous weeks, and it was nothing short of a miracle that I was in good enough health to attend. I was still coughing, (I AM still coughing,) but I could walk upright…so that in itself gave me the green light to get off my couch and go.

I brought my mother with me. She is an insulin dependent type 2. She was diagnosed about 5 years ago and we have some suspicion that she may be a LADA patient, rather than type 2. LADA stands for Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults. Basically it is an adult that acquires type one, with an onset that is generally quite slow going. The beta cells are killed at a slower pace, so often those with LADA are diagnosed with Type 2. My mother has asked to be tested to see which diabetes she really has, but has been put off by her doctors. She’ll get the test eventually…but right now she is doing all she can to Take Control of HER Diabetes.

So this conference was a perfect fit for her!

We attended some sessions together. I would have to say that she gleaned much more information than I did. The conference seemed more applicable for the Type 2 community…although there were many workshops that offered help for both communities.

Some things I DID learn:

You get what you give. They showed examples of what they called, “The Extreme Diabetes Makeover.” They took a bunch of Type 2 and Type 1 Diabetics and gave them the whole gamut of support. The results in less than a year yielded A1C’s that were literally cut in half. It goes to show the right support team is invaluable when it comes to diabetes. If your endo isn’t actively trying to help you take control…if your endo or doctor is not empathetic to the cause…then it is time for a new endo.

They showed a map of the prevalence of diabetes 10 or 20 years ago. (The states with a higher than 3% diagnosis rate were colored red.) There were a few states colored red. Today the entire map is red. I knew that diabetes, both type 1 and 2 were on the rise…I wasn’t surprised at the statistics at all. But just looking at the map made it all more real. Not a fun feeling really.

In another workshop I learned that when a man gets angry, three parts of his brain light up. When a woman gets angry, SEVEN parts of her brain light up. Again…not too surprising. :) The workshop talked about our “caveman” emotions. That we all have an automatic-gut-reaction-emotions to EVERYTHING. We need to identify what the triggers are that make us angry and upset, and then we need to accept…and deal with that emotion head on.

The Happy Diabetic workshop was our favorite. He talked about his diabetes, his denial of it all and did a kick-butt cooking demonstration. We learned that if you have vegetable oil in your pantry…throw it away…and throw it away NOW. Cook only with Canola oil and olive oil. (I checked, that is what I have in my pantry...phew!)

Our conference was next. Participation was much smaller than anticipated as the main Doctor of the conference, Dr. Edelman, had his most popular workshop in the giant room the same time as ours. We were o.k. with the smaller audience. We hoped we could reach out more personally with the attendees. I don’t think I was prepared for the diversity of the audience though. There were many older type 2 adults who simply came to find out what to type on their computers to find a community that would understand them. There were parents of Type 1’s…there were adult type 1’s and there were people who simply wanted to know technically how to get their website out there.

We started out with each of us going up with our power points and giving a spiel about ourselves. I of course got all weepy talking about why I go online. I talked about the power of “same” and the relief to know there are others who 100% get it. Afterwards we opened it up to a question and answer forum and tried our best to satisfy all the answers in the audience.

All in all it was a success, and that is something! It was a good introduction for me in an advocating forum. I hope to have more opportunities to get out there and let people know they don’t have to be alone in all this anymore.

The vendor fair was pretty rockin’, although I think I missed out on some as I only walked through first thing in the morning. I had an opportunity to speak for a good five minutes with Billy Mills, the Olympic gold medalist. He is a very sweet man and it was a blast talking face to face, speaking so candidly with a legend. It was a really cool experience and I will remember it always.

Thank you TCOYD for welcoming me into your family. What you are doing is nothing short of amazing. Encouraging thousands of people to Take CONTROL of their Diabetes is an admirable cause indeed! Keep up the good work! I know many lives were changed for the better after attending the conference last week…my mother’s included!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Attention ALL bloggers!

Our Diabetic Life is in charge of the Blogger Basal this month!

What is Blogger Basal you ask? Well, it is a sampling of blogs throughout the diabetic online community. As basal insulin is a steady/constant dripping of insulin, the blogger basal is a steady/constant dripping of thoughts throughout our community. If your blog has a thousand readers, or just two...I want to link to you!

I will link to one post per participating blog. All YOU have to do is email me a link to a February blog post. One from your own blog...the one that you like best.

Easy Peasy?

Maybe...but here is the catch. I need your link by Wednesday, February 23rd. (That is less than a week away. So you might as well send it to me today. :)

Please email me at and I will make sure your blog is represented. If you were like me...and out of the loop this month due to illness or just plain life, tune in on the last day of the month for the wrap up. You won't be sorry!

I look forward to reading your submissions...mother, father, adult or child. If you blog...get your voice out there! This is a great platform to start getting people involved in your own Diabetic Life!

Don't be shy! Email me today!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentines Day: Wherein...I get knocked down.

Captains Log: Valentines Day…the REAL Valentines Day, was wonderful…the kids had the day off thanks to the broke California School System, so we enjoyed a day at the movies and just plain relaxin!

BUUUUUUT: Last Friday was the real/fake school Valentines Day Celebrations.

Rating: F for “what the FLIP happened?!”

It started with L not bolusing for breakfast. This has become a problem. I tell him what to bolus…he takes out his pump…and for some flippin reason, it just doesn’ t happen. I’m talkin’ like twice a week. Out of nowhere! So…it is my job now. I give the breakfast boluses…

But I digress.

Friday…he didn’t get that Bolus, and he called me at snack with a lovely…(NOT)…425.

"Bolus"…I tell him. And he boluses. By lunch he is 140 and is rearing to go!

(Side note: I used to pick the boys up immediately when they were so high. But you know what happened...within the hour...they were fine. And then I had to bring them back. So the new rule is, if they want to stay, and the teacher doesn't feel like it is bringing them too down, I let them stay. If they don't come down nicely by the next check I pick them up. But I'm not so fast to pick them out of school anymore. I give them a choice. They usually choose to stay.)

So…of course he wanted to stay…it was the Valentines Party for goodness sake!!!

L called me at 2:00, as I was driving to the school. “I’m going to have a small strawberry muffin.”

“A muffin? That is weird.”

“Well, it is pink. And it looks like a muffin to me...”

“Fine. 30 carbs. I’ll be right there.”

What that small strawberry muffin turned out to be was a strawberry cupcake with frosting piled higher than the cupcake. It was a 60 carber for sure. But if that wasn’t enough…he has already eaten almost ALL the candy from his bag.

Hold the phone! How the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS was that allowed?

“My teacher said so!”

I looked up and there was a sub. She works in the class, so she knows of his diabetes. I walked over to her and mentioned that L had just eaten 10 starbursts, 3 Hershey kisses and 2 fun sized candy bars.

“I kept asking if he was ok!” She says. “I kept asking if he had checked his sugar!” She says.

I know…she doesn’t KNOW. I can’t blame her…but my fail was only made more insulting when I walked into B’s classroom and he was chomping on a Hershey kiss.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did…you didn’t answer.”

“So did you check your sugar?”

“Of course!”

“Did you bolus for any of this.”


“What did you eat?”

“A cupcake, 2 cookies and most of my candy.”

“B, you KNOW you shouldn’t have eaten all that! And crystal ball is broken. How am I supposed to know how many carbs you actually ate?”

“I know mom…but it's Valentines Day!”

How am I to argue with that? He is almost always responsible. What would my rebuttal had been? “How dare you want to be a normal kid! How dare you enjoy this party!”

Heaven help me. Heaven please please help me.

I SWAGed the carbs for the boys…I purposely rage bolused because I was so disgusted with myself and the complete lack of help I get in the school system.

Their sugars were brilliant after. But that wasn't the point. The point was…I was so flipping tired of these battles…of these “incidents!” I lamented for hours that I didn't have a pinch hitter, and at the same time I felt so sucky about it because someday I will be able to walk away from this, (for the most part,) and my boys will not. Diabetes had me down...big time. I felt like I was failing my boys. I was D.O.N.E.

And then the next day...the VERY NEXT DAY...the boys numbers were spot on. They called me and texted me when they were supposed to. B called and said there was a birthday, but he would rather eat the cupcake when he was home with me. Everything went smooth as silk.

And I feel better.

Diabetes is such a emotional roller coaster. One day you can be SO down in the dumps. SO tired and DONE with this disease, and the next day you are like, "I totally got this."

It reminds me of this song. The chorus of the song is really the only thing relevant here...but it is so true for us living the Diabetic Life...I had to embed it into this post. I just had to.

We get knocked down...ALL THE TIME! But you know what...we get back up again, every time. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. We ALWAYS get back up. And that is something...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Let's hear it for the boy!

Three weeks ago I marched into the pharmacy and bought out all the Nyquil, Dayquil, Tylenol Flu and Mucinex in the store.

I went up to the counter to dump my sorry lot of snot/cough inhibitors and looked at the girl. “We’re sick.” I said.

“You and the rest of the town.” She says. “Everyone says it lasts FOREVER!”

“Tell me about it! I’m on day six!”

Just thinking about it makes me snort. Day six! Six days! Phlep! That is nothing!

I’m on week four now…and I know you all will believe me, as I am almost always only honest…that I almost died from this thing. The only thing worse was the swine flu I almost died from a few years ago.

It was one of those things that got worse every day. And the worse my symptoms? The more medicine I ingested. Makes perfect sense, right? I needed to function! I am a mother! I do not get a vacation!

Well my body told me otherwise.

It turned into fever, chills…coughing…coughing…coughing….chest congestion.

I was a a mess. There was seriously a week where I was completely out of commission.

Ryan to the rescue.

Sidenote: Ryan is my husband and he is a funny guy. He is either the life of the party, or he is the guy standing by himself in the corner. If you click with him…he’ll do anything for you. It goes with his upbringing. He is an undying friend and lifelong confidant if you make the cut. Thank the Good Lord I’ve made the cut!

He took care of me and the family like nobody’s business! He cooked, he cleaned, he picked up the boys from school every day, he did all the daytime and nighttime checks and he took care of me!

He never once complained.

It all came to a head for me last Monday. I had a conference call about the TCOYD conference on Saturday and told Amy, “Yeah! I’m totally doing better every day!”


That night the chills were so vicious I thought I was going to knock my teeth out. I became a heap of crying mess…hyperventilating that I’d never get better. My stomach hurt from all the meds I was piling into myself and I promptly threw those all up. I pretty much laid on the couch and decided I was going to die. When my husband carried me into the doctor’s office the next morning the nurse said, “Wow! You are sick!” She immediately filled three prescriptions.

Antibiotics for bronchitis. Cough syrup with Codeine for my cough. And Soma for the pinched nerve in my neck that TORTURED me every time I coughed.

I made it to the TCOYD Conference on Saturday. But I wouldn’t have done it without Ryan.

Something you should know…through all of this, Ryan had to work.

And something else I forgot to tell you? Ryan was sick with this too.

It is easy to take our spouses for granted…but everyday he took over I thought…”I’m going to make this up to him. Why isn’t he complaining? I love him so much! He is a better person than me!”

I know how lucky I am to have a husband that tells me EVERY DAY how much he loves me.

I know I’m lucky to have a husband that tells me I’m beautiful…even though he is clearly delusional!

I know I’m lucky to have a husband that helps. A husband that two months ago took over the nighttime checks because I couldn’t get up anymore. (Seriously, I couldn’t…I’d turn off the alarm every time without remembering in the morning. He said I’ve clearly reached Alarm Fatigue and he would take over indefinitely if need be.)


I take for granted how blessed I am.

20 years ago today Ryan sent me a heart shaped cake…in the mail. Seriously…I think he sent it FedEx. It was a huge blob of a mess when it got to me, but my roommates and I enjoyed every bite. This story epitomizes the way Ryan is. He may not pull everything off with finesse...but he manages to show you how much he truly loves you.

He is my best friend.

This one is for you my dear Valentine. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. This diabetic life would be impossible to navigate without out you by my side.

I love you Ryan! You so deserve a standing ovation for the past few weeks!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Our new BFF: Lenny the Lion

A few months ago our family discovered Lenny the Lion.

He was introduced through a carb counting app produced by Medronic. If you haven’t checked it out, you should run over and take a look. It is a FREE app and has all sorts of games that teach carb counting. My 7 year old, 9 year old and 13 year old all found something of value within the game. I even had M dabbling with it…the more he knows the better, right?

Anyhow…last week I got an email from the powers behind the Lenny the Lion App. Our family had been randomly chosen to win a two foot tall Stuffed Lenny the Lion Doll!


I’m not sure what I was expecting…but I wasn’t expecting the awesomeness that we received!

This lion had a HUGE impact on L. He couldn’t get over how cool it was. He couldn’t get over the fact that you could actually put a site in your leg! He was seriously gobsmacked. After giving Lenny the once over…L realized that Lenny had diabetes too. So he did the logical thing…he immediately started CPR. “How long has he been without his pump?” L wondered. He said Lenny needed a new site…stat!

The site was put on minutes after taking Lenny out of the box…and luckily we had an expired pump and an old Spibelt to hold the pump in place. (L is nothing, if he is not thorough.)

Lenny has gone with us everywhere. L is so proud of him. B has announced that he plans on doing Lenny’s next site change. This is huge! B has never showed any interest in applying a site. If he practices a couple times on Lenny…who knows? Maybe it will give him the confidence to try it on himself?

This gift has been brilliant. Kudos to Medronic for getting the stuffed Lenny the Lion right! I half expected something like a grabber machine prize from Chuck E. Cheese, so needless to say…I was pleasantly surprised!

Thank you Medronic! Your kind gift has given Our Diabetic Life a much needed “Moral Booster!”

Thursday, February 3, 2011

TCOYD...and me!

TCOYD (Taking Control of Your Diabetes) is a charitable organization whose sole purpose is to motivate those that have diabetes to take a more active role in their health. They educate, motivate and provide tools to help those with diabetes succeed in all they do! They have awesome conferences that take place throughout the United States. One of those conferences happens to be NEXT WEEK in my neck of the woods.

Amy of Diabetes Mine is leading a session on “Living with Diabetes Online,” and she was kind enough to ask me and Landileigh to join her panel to relate some of our experiences.

I have never been to one of these conferences, but after reading the information, I am completely intrigued! The conference is for type 1’s and type 2’s and will cover everything from handling the emotional roller coaster of diabetes, to cooking demos, to an open session with a lawyer to answer questions about health care, employment or DMV issues.

And Olympic Gold Medalist Billy Mills will be there!

And I will be there!

Holy Hannah! If you live in the Bay Area, I think you need to come!

You can register: HERE

And there is a link to Diabetes Mine that will give you Amy’s take on the event: HERE

If you are around, please come and say hello. I will be super lost…and scared…and nervous! This will be my first time at this rodeo, but I’m excited to get the word out about this virtual world that has changed my life for the better! The more on the bandwagon the merrier. We don’t need to be lonely in this disease anymore. Friends are waiting!

I’m honored to be part of such a great event!