I started this journey naïve. I was a selfish, young, wide-eyed girl. Too young to really be an adult; short on experience for sure. It seemed as though I was just playing house. Playing the part of what I always wanted to be. Or thought I would be. Or thought life should be.
I had no idea what trial was. I didn’t know sacrifice. I didn’t know heartache.
As buildings goes, I looked a little bit like this:
And then the winds came.
So I strengthened my walls.
And when the rain fell, slanted in its haste...
I fortified the roof.
The cold and the heat, I tried to hide from those
uncomfortable things, but soon learned the best way to deal with it all was
just to absorb it. I learned to face the
elements that way. Standing strong. Enduring.
I learned survival.
I learned what love was.
I learned to hold on.
I learned what hope was.
And through the entire process, I grew.
Inch by inch I became who I am today.
Growth.
The skin under my eyes is sunken in a bit from all the
tears.
The lines on my forehead might be a bit more defined than
others from the hamster wheels in my brain, turning turning turning. Number after number. Worry after worry. Wonder after wonder.
But I stand.
Tall.
Glorious in my imperfections.
Owning every dent.
Every missing shingle. Every
crack.
I am me.
And I am happy to be me.
All of those things that have tried me, well…they made me
grow. They forged me into a resilient
human being.
So today, while I had a hard day, I’m ok with it.
Because I now know that hard things make me better.
I’ll make the improvements I need to weather each unique
storm. One by one...as hard things have built me in the past, and they will
continue to build me.
I'll be better tomorrow than I am today. I didn't always appreciate the process, but I've been building for so long now, the lens of experience testifies to me that all will be well.
The hard things don't hurt like they used to.
They’re tinkering now.
Making their upgrades.
Thankfully, I’m in charge of the direction those upgrades
take me.
And I’m choosing to build up.
