Kunk

If you haven't seen the new update on Ryan, please read the link to the facebook update:  HERE.

Have you ever seen the wooden marble maze game?  It is a wooden box with a curvy lined trail that a marble has to follow.  It is controlled by two dials on either side that make the wooden board rotate and swivel so the marble will, (hopefully,) go the direction you want it to.  The big catch is there are holes throughout the entire game board that the marble can fall through...If you fall through, your marble is taken back to the very beginning...

Hello...the story of my life wrapped up in a wooden puzzle analogy bow.

That marble and I are kindred spirits.

We begin in the starting spot every time with optimism and hope that THIS will be the time we make it to the finish line.  We begin our journey at a good clip, confident that we are agile enough to avoid the pitfalls of despair, when low and behold...KUNK. 

Start over.

It happens so suddenly that every time it is a surprise.  We are fine.  We are laughing.  We are normaling.  And then KUNK.  We aren't ok anymore.  We are in the dark boweled abyss of the wooden box trying to find our way back to the starting line.

It's frustrating.  <------- That is the nicest way possible to explain my feelings right now.

Ryan's body is currently failing him.  He has no strength...he can barely walk.  It is scary and frustrating and one of those things that could stay the same or get entirely worse.  The unknown...THE UNKNOWN...it sucking the life out of any sanity I may possess.

In two weeks everything has changed.  What will happen in another two weeks? 

(Insert unearthly scream of frustration here.)

I try not to go there.  I beg Ryan not to go there.  We need to concentrate on today.  And today Ryan received his first infusion of the drug that we are counting on to save his life.  We got him there.  He received the med.  He is home in bed.

Win.

Win!  Marble maze from hell...take that!

Now I will concentrate on Sunday when all my friends and family will unite in prayer in Ryan's behalf.  I hope that you will join us.  (In fact, you don't have to wait until Sunday.  Ryan could use those prayers today.)

What can the power of prayer do? 

Considering who is at the receiving end of the prayerful pleas...I imagine it can do anything.

Actually, I'm counting on it.

Until then I will pick my marble up and put it back to the starting point...again.  Over and over and over until we make it through this joke of a maze we have been dealt. 

Life can KUNK me all it wants.  I'll start over. 

It is exhausting.  <---- Being kind again...but we will find our way. 

Your prayers will help.