Sunday, November 6, 2011

I'm glad they are here. I think they are too.

Some of you may not know that L and B share a birthday, two years apart. Both are born on November 6th. Today I would like to re-share a post I wrote earlier this year. I am thankful for every day I have with them...and I think they are thankful for our choice to have more children too:

The most awesome thing I have done in spite of diabetes?

Hands down, easiest question ever...

These two little munchkins right here.


As most of you know, J was diagnosed when he was 8 months old. J is my second son...B and L wern't even on the radar yet.

It was scary, and deliriously confusing when we were told J had Type 1 Diabetes. We spent a week in the hospital…mostly for J to recover from his ketoacidosis…and a little bit because I needed to learn how to take care of my little boy. (The hospital obviously didn’t think this was too big of a deal, they sent me home with a book and my pediatricians home phone number. “Call him when you need to give insulin.” Yeah, that got old fast, for all of us involved.)

Anyway…back to the hospital….My husband or someone would try to come by once a day to give me a break. I would usually go down to the cafeteria and spend my time feeling guilty I wasn’t with J. I would silently sob in the corner and pick at my food.

One particular day I was in line for the food and already felt tears falling on my cheek. A friendly faced older lady put her hand on my shoulder. “What’s your story, honey?”

I told her how my second son had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and the new world we were being thrown in. I told her he was so sick and so skinny, it was hard to see him in such a state.

“Well you have two boys…since you won’t be having any more, you are very lucky to even have them considering what has been passed down to them.”

Say what the huh?

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Really? I’m not having any more? Was she right? I mean that was the last thing on my mind…but did this mean it was the end of the line? Two and no more?

She wasn’t the only one to make this comment. Many others made comments to the effect that I better not have more, as I didn’t want to pass this on to another child.

Pass it on? Was I really passing it on? For awhile the answer in my mind was yes. I felt like this had to be my fault. I felt like J was being punished just so that I could learn to be a better person. (Diagnosis and lack of sleep do a number on your swelly brain!)

But the passage of time is a funny thing…

Time changes perspectives.

Time heals wounds, even mental ones.

And one day, I knew…we needed to have another.


And one day, exactly two years later, God sent us another.


And then yeah, THEN we were done.

Two years after our last son came into our family…diabetes made another appearance.

And one year later…another appearance.

Do I regret having these two boys? Heck to the no.

Do I feel responsible for their diabetes. No, no I don’t.

We are like lottery winners; no one could have predicted our lot. NO ONE.

We were told we had a 3% chance of having a second child with diabetes.

That is a 97% chance that we wouldn’t. But who cares about percentages. You never know where you will fall, so they are useless. All that is important is I have two of the most precious souls in the universe here in my home. Yes, they have diabetes. Yes, I wish they didn’t have to endure diabetes…

But they are thriving.

And they are happy.

And they are part of a bigger picture.

I can’t imagine life without B and L. Would I have had them if I KNEW they were going to have Type 1?

I think they would have hoped…that regardless of their circumstances, I would have said yes.

(This marks day 7 of National Health Blog Posting Month in honor of Diabetes Awareness Month!)

9 comments:

  1. Of course! You had to have all four of them so you give people like me a chance to giggle - but mostly someone to admire... You!

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  2. We adopted our son when he was 4mths old and boy did we love him at first sight. Who would know that when he was 12 he met Type1, what a day we were all crying and on the way home from the Drs. he asked his dad will you and mom still love me....OMG...We just stopped the car and held him and told him how much we loved him. Are we sorry he's our son H--- NO.

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  3. My doctors used to tell me how rare it was that both lisa and I had diabetes...2 out of 3 biological kids having it was just crazy...now the more I find diabetics, the more I hear that their siblings have it as well...percentages mean nothing!!! :)

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  4. I am SO very glad you didnt listen to those silly people Meri. Of course you were ment to have those boys! And you were ment to be there mama... with or without the D!!

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  5. Oh boy some people are just nosy aren't they? So happy that you have all four wonderful boys in your life. And a very Happy Birthday to L and B! Tell them all the cool people have birthdays his week ;)

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  6. Moving on ahead with life is brave - you have an amazing family. Hope you have a great time celebrating this week!

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  7. Meri, thanks for sharing this memory. I have T1 and so does my daughter. Someone at my OB's office commented that it was selfish of me to have children, knowing that I could pass this disease to them. Had my parents known my fate, I pray that they would still have blessed me with the life I have. Life is precious and children are a blessing. Sadly, heartache and sorrow will find our children in their lifetime, with or without diabetes. I'm thankful for my every breath and my heart beats for my children. God gave me these blessings and who am I to question His work?

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  8. oh meri. <33 to you and your family!

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  9. I have a co-worker who is the parent of a "grown" CWD. I told her about this post and she couldn't believe the comments you received. Your children are amazing and so are you!

    And genetics is a crapshoot as far as I'm concerned. There is no one in my family with diabetes and I still managed to get it. And I'm pretty happy to be here :)

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