Friday, August 12, 2011

The invader.

I'm not sure how he got in. I'm not even sure when. But the man in black entered our house 13 years ago this week.

My skin crawls thinking about how he hid here, unnoticed for so long. I can imagine his joyful snicker, and the slits in his eyes widening just enough to see the damage he was doing to my baby.

Was it pre-calculated? Was he planning his assault for months? How did he choose my son?

I'll probably never know.

All I know is he liked it here. Because he has lived in the dark recesses of our home for lo these many years, and has found a way to attack two more of my boys. Attack in a silent, devastating, life threatening kinda way.

He has done everything he can to make my boys miserable. He lies in wait...picking the most inopportune times to make my boys go weak in the turn them ashen make them desperate for a snack.

He can make them thirst. Seriously, who does that? He has a sick sense of humor for sure.

We let him wreak havoc for years. He had control...he was sneaky enough to take my brain and swell it up to astronomical proportions.

For a while, I forgot what was important.

For a while, all I could think about was the man in the shadows. My distain for him. My fear that he would jump out again and attack.


My plan for revenge came slowly. It was a seed planted by the light in my children's eyes.

One day my son's blood sugar was impossibly high and I smiled and said, "It is what it is...let's just fix it."

The dark shadow of a man cringed at my indifference. I heard him jerk deep into the shadows. He didn't like that I was becoming comfortable.

That moment was exhilarating, and it became my greatest joy to make him shirk.

Over time I could feel that I had the upper hand. I had the power to make HIM tremble in his boots. I wouldn't let him scare me anymore. His scare tactics were old. I could head them off with my outlook. I could defend myself with hope.

The man still lives here, and some days he tries to jump into hearts and cause panic. But most days he just whimpers with his miserableness. Most days he is lonely.

His power is limited now. I will not cower in fear. I will not let him take the air from the breath of our life.

Today...thirteen years after his appearance...The Diabetes Invader can suck it.

We love, despite his presence.

We hope, despite his presence.

We try...we endure...we succeed...

Despite his presence.

Diabetes may have a score of three with the Schuhmacher family...but we trump his score with our hope.

And I call that a win.

In fact, this is more how I see our relationship now...


  1. Oh, Meri! This post brought a smile to my face. And glee to my heart! That's one powerful way of getting revenge! Being miserable and vindictive only hurts ourselves. But being happy and loving and living fully...that does a ton of damage! Way to go and lots of hugs to you and your amazing boys!

  2. This is beautiful! It's so easy (especially with today's technology) to get caught up in every little detail. Sometimes it's just about saying "okay, let's just fix it." It can mean all the difference to your kids and I'm sure to you as well. :)

  3. can suck it, indeed!!
    Lovely description...especially 'him' cowering in the corner with his own loneliness!

  4. This is really depressing. :( if you are looking for a laugh Check out my blog! :)

  5. This is not depressing AT ALL Nicole! I think it's lovely! I feel you, I feel the demon crouching in the corner daily, hourly, and I love that he does not win at your house or mine...Keep it up Meri! I love reading your posts.

  6. Love that clip! Great point of view Meri :)

  7. LOVE IT! That clip made me laugh out loud! So appropriate!

    Ummmm - I'm so tempted to check out Nicole's blog but my better judgment is saying NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This post is totally not depressing - hellllooooooo!?!?!?!

    HEART YOU !!!!!!

  8. absolutely LOVE this post! this line especially got to me and made my heart smile..."I will not let him take the air from the breath of our life." We are totally big fans of "Megamind" in this house

  9. I love your posts. What a great way to start a Sunday. I'll be thinking about that clip when Kaitlyn's BG gets out of control again.
    Thanks for making my day.


  10. I love the smile and "let's just fix it" attitude. Took me MANY years to get to the point where I wouldn't hate myself each time I tested my blood sugar and found a high number. Finally, I too switched my way of thinking to "I GET to fix it, I CAN fix it" and ever since, I just do what I need to do and go on living.

    Thanks for this post. I am glad we stand up to this "man in black" and live happy lives regardless of his efforts. ((Hugs to you))

  11. Oh Meri... "The Diabetes Invader can suck it."

    Best. Line. EVER!

  12. You are an incredibly inspirational writer, Meri. Thank you so much for sharing such beauty and heart in your posts. I'm always, always honored to read them and always glad that I do.

  13. I am slowly starting to see a faint trace of my style, the way I approach a theme and execute it. But at this stage it is like a barely there whisper and I am looking forward to discovering more of it and to see how your style develops:-)

  14. I didnt mean it in a bad way! It's sad that all of her kids have to suffer with this demonlike disease their entire lives. She wrote it in a beautiful way! I didn't mean for it to come off insulting. Sorry if it did!


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