Monday, October 3, 2011

The cold slushy truth. Too much to ask for?

I was never a big fan of the Slurpee. Give me chocolate any day of the week. But my husband discovered the sugar free Slurpee by chance, and ever since it has been the special treat of choice in the Schuhmacher household.

True-True that the Slurpee isn't really "sugar free." There are carbs in there for sure. But we are in a place right now where all the boys get "free" afterschool snacks or else they go low. We get the smallest size and no one needs to!

It was a couple months ago that we discovered a new sugar free flavor called Cherry Apple. MAN ALIVE was it delicious! Seriously, I never in my life expected that last sentence to come out of this keyboard...but it was so good I actually had cravings for it after. I kept it as my little secret though. The boys don't need to know I crave junk, right?

It was a hot September day when I casually suggested we go get Slurpees.

The boys, thinking I was the coolest mom ever, enthusiastically agreed.

After we drove a good five miles away from our normal route home, about 10 minutes with the traffic, we finally reached our destination. We all hopped out of the car and headed for the Slurpee corner of the market.

J: "Noooooooooo!!"

Me: "What's wrong? Oh my gosh, you forgot to bolus for lunch, right? I'm right! Right?"

J: "No, they changed the sugar free flavor to Peach Mango."

B: "That is ok, I like that one too..."

L: "Oh, it's orange, I bet it is good..."

Me: "Stop! Don't grab those cups! Let's go to the other 7-11 down the road and see if they have the Cherry Apple."

B: "It's ok Mo...."

Me cutting him off: "No...only the best for my boys. I don't mind, let's go!" Said in my chipperest best mom voice while already having one foot out the door. (Man, I was craving that Cherry Apple. No judging me! Peach Mango tastes like throw up. It is a proven fact.)

We get to the next 7-11 and go inside.

J: "Noooooooooo!! They don't have any sugar free flavors!"

Me: "Let's keep movin'! There is another one just a few miles down the street!"

We get to 7-11 number 3 and I send J inside to case the joint and see if they have what we are looking for. J pressed his face against the door and gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up!

"Alright boys, let's do this thing!"

I could practically taste the cold tart goodness already. It was almost 100 degrees outside. I was SO ready!

We run in like a herd of buffalo and grab our cups. J fills his first, followed by B.

Me: "B, stop!"

B: "I can do it on my own mom...I've done it before."

Me: "No stop!" I take the cup from him and look at the orange color inside.

"This is not Cherry Apple." I taste it and can't place the flavor. The fountain SAYS Cherry Apple...but Cherry Apple is red...not orange.

I take the incriminating evidence to the front counter.

"Excuse me, can you confirm for me that this is in fact, Sugar Free Cherry Apple? It is orange...I'm concerned there has been a mistake."

I can see a customer in the corner of me eye confused as to why I am so official when speaking of Slurpee flavors. His face says, "What are you? The Slurpee Police?"

"Sure. I'll check for you." The counter guy disappears into the back room and returns fairly quickly.

"It is orange. The Cherry Apple has been put in behind it. Once this flavor is gone, the Cherry Apple will come through."

"Is this 'orange' flavor sugar free?"


Oh H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS no! That was the wrong answer.

"Here is what you need to do," I use my fingers to frame the sugar free sign and look him straight in the eye, " You need cover this sign that says sugar free until you are 100% sure it is only Cherry Apple coming through."

"Oh maam, it is there. It will come through soon."

"Oh no no no. It isn't the is the sugar free part. You see my boys have Type 1 Diabetes. This full sugar Orange Slurpee is like poison to them. If they drank this, and I didn't give them insulin thinking it was sugar free...well their sugar would be so dangerously high they could end up in the hospital. There are people in this city that count on this sign being correct. We are some of those people. In our world, this sign is VERY important."

(I know...a little dramatic, but I was caught up in the moment. Sugar free Slurpees run around 6g of carbs per 8oz., the plain ol' full sugar variety can hit 47g of carbs for an 8 oz cup. I don't even want to imagine what a 47-carb-fast-acting-sugar-uncovered-after-school-snack-X3 looks like.)

He was very sweet. He even stuttered. It was really hard to understand him between his thick accent and his stuttering, but he said he understood.

"We won't be able to eat those." I gestured over to the two Slurpee cups full of orangy goodness.

"oh no, that is no problem maam."

I start to walk out the door and I see him return to his bench behind the register.

I watch him for a minute. He looks up and gives me an uncomfortable sheepish grin.

I hold my gaze. My eyebrows slightly raised. For the life of him, he didn't know why I wouldn't leave.

"Aren't' you going to make that sign?" I finally ask.

He looks confused.

"The sign. The one that says it is not sugar free Cherry Apple, but full sugar Orange flavor?"

"Oh yes maam! I'll make it now."

He gets up and grabs a pen.

I walk out knowing full well that sign never got made, and sad that all my words seemed to go in one ear and out the other...

Or did they?

I guess I'll never know.

What I do know is I didn't get a Slurpee that day...and we haven't gone to get one since. My heart doesn't trust the signs anymore. I'm sure we'll be back one day, but as the leaves are changing color, and the wind is becoming brisk with fall, it looks like hot chocolate will soon trump the Slurpee anyhow.

Too bad though...that Cherry Apple was da bomb!


  1. Maybe in the spring you'll be ready for some SF cherry apple goodness. In the mean time, enjoy that hot chocolate!

    "Peach Mango tastes like throw up. It is a proven fact." -- that line was truly laugh out loud funny! :)

  2. "The Slurpee Police" got me chuckling Meri.

    Meri = My Hero

    You are saving us one 7-11 at a time. BTW, in addition to NO TARGETS...we DON'T have 7-11s in Vermont either. I feel like I live on another planet!

  3. Gotta love a fellow Mama who will drive all over, in 100 degree weather, to fulfil her childrens, -ahem, I mean her- sweet slushy desires ;)

    What a major bummer to find sad replacements and inaccurate flavors.

    But, and this is my very big but speaking, the BEST part is when you remind the clerk to make that darn sign already! I almost jumped up to make that sign for him!

    Oh MMMMmmmmeemeeeerrrriiiiiii . . . I will make it my mission to create a sugar-free chocolate slushy just for you that will make your taste buds scream "No way! Way? Oh my, soooooooooo way."

  4. So I know the point is that the sugar free sign was incorrect, and that it needs to be correct for the well being of all fellow D peeps out there, but I was laughing hysterically that you drove to 3 different 7-11's to find the correct Slurpee flavor. Just like me, come hell or high water, despite the fact that gas prices are outrageous and traffic in my town is the 50,000 people population equivalent to New York City, I will drive all over Gods creation finding the right thing, instead of settling on what might or might not work for me. Go Mom!

  5. Sorry you didn't get to fulfill your Slurpee craving, but THANK YOU for speaking up!

  6. I shall now call you The Slurpee Police :0)
    You rock Meri!

  7. Watch out world.

    A new (badass) Slurpee Sheriff is in town.

    Totally get this post. That Sugar Free sign is mega important.

    Diabetes aside, if I put my Slurpee cup up there for Cherry Apple and out comes Orange, it's a drag. I want what I want. Period!

  8. Way to go, slurpee police!
    btw, I totally get the craving thing... when I'm pregnant, there are times I would KILL for a slurpee. Don't know why I crave those things when I'm knocked up, I just do!

  9. The Sheriff Is In Town... never gonna be able to have another slurpee (sugar free or not) without thinking of you and your boys... and that darn sign.

    Why can't people get this??? It's like false marketing. Love it when you ask for something Diet, and they give you a cup full of something that's obviously not, and then they try to convince you otherwise even though it's clearly not diet... (sigh)

    One 7-11 at a time, apparently... At least I know who to call!

  10. Dear Slurpee Police,
    I love the three stores run! I'd drive for my fave too. ; ) Currently my love is black bean soup, but it's only available on Tues, Thur, and Sat. at Panera. Good grief, that's a long time to wait! ; )

    I'm sure it's not as magical as a SF, bolus-less slurpee! : ) Never knew there was a SF-is there a Dt. Coke slurpee? Wish we still had 7-11's here! I miss them.
    Love you and miss you, Mer!!!

  11. go slurpee police !!! im glad theres people like you advocating for us ! btw, you ARE the coolest mum , right ?!

  12. Go Slurpee Police!!! I really wish people understood how important that SF sign is and that it makes a HUGE difference to some of us!!! So wish you would have been able to get your Slurpee...what a bummer :(

  13. we were really excited to try a sugar free slurpee at our local 7-11 that just opened this summer...then realized that they were wrong and it wasn't sugar free, that was a LLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG afternoon. Luckily Isaac only liked half of his cup then dumped the rest saying it was gross. I haven't taken them to get them since. I wish we had a slurpee police :) Wondering if a ketone strip would work in this case...hmmm...

  14. I'm afraid that this may be a more common occurrence than we think. Someone recently posted the same story on my blog's Facebook page - like you, she caught the mistake because the slushee was orange and not red. Grrrrrrrrr

  15. Similar situation happened to us at the Oregon Zoo. The diet Pepsi/Coke was definitely too strong tasting and not the sugar free variety we had ordered. A little drop on a test strip and 5 seconds later we had confirmation - a high reading.

    The employees didn't really believe us - and had to go check the syrup canisters.

    This switch happens more times than you would like to believe.


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