Friday, September 30, 2011

The D Mother of Invention...

Since the school nurse makes an appearance only one morning a week at our school, I get five phone calls a day, and a text. Well...that is the way it is supposed to be anyway.

It is a brilliant plan I hatched under the guise of necessity. I'll be the boys virtual nurse! They can push the buttons. They can follow direction. I'm pretty good at SWAGing was a brilliant idea in conception.

At snack the two youngest would check their sugars and call me. At that time they would correct if need be, and I would decide what snack they would eat out of their lunch according to the number given me.

Then, before lunch, the youngest would call me. He would give me his blood sugar number...just so I know he did it. B, I trust him...he doesn't need to call me. This is also where J would text me with his lunchtime number. (J carb counts and is pretty much on his own these days. He'll get to keep his freedom as long as his meter tells me he is testing.)

THEN, after the younger boys eat, they will call me again! Tell me what they ate and I will give them carb counts based on their number before they ate, based on what they ate, and based on if it is a PE day at school/or a hot day/or a full moon. My brains calculator looks a little bit like this:

(Side note: I used to pre bolus, but they would often not eat everything, or they would trade with someone. ) (Side note to the side note: I used to not let them trade, but turns out when you are an elementary school boy...this is REALLY important. It is the exception to the rule..but it does happen when I least expect it to.)


THAT was the plan. A lot of calling, but not half bad. I just needed my cell phone velcro-ed to my ear at all times, and we were good.

But I've found the fly in the ointment. The kink in the cog. The plan foiler if you will...

They have to actually call. And in J's case, he actually has to text.


If the littles don't call...then I have to call the office, who then calls the classroom...who then gets the child for me so I can play pancreas.

Or I can call their cell phone, which most of the time is fruitless. The business of the classroom often mutes the rings and they do not hear. And 25% of the time they forget their cell phones anyway.

They pretty much forget to call me, (this is where I was going to put a percentage of the time they forget, but shockerprisingly enough...I'm not a math genius, so let's just say it is too much.)

In reality, it is an imperfect system at best.

What I really need is my cell phone to be attached to the school intercom...

It is a good plan, right?

It is either this or two plastic cups tied together with a super long string.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm considering that too...

Yeah, I AM crazy! Crazy enough to consider lobbying the state of California to pitch in for the cups...

P.S. To all my email subscribers: I apologize the video I made the other day wouldn't translate to your email box. To view my last post and see my take on Simon and Garfunkel, please click HERE.


  1. Gosh the state of California should pitch in for your nurse to stay at school...that's a better idea :)

    I know in a perfect world where kids and safety comes first. Boy do I wish we lived in that word!!

    and Boyz call your mother!!!

  2. Ha ha ha ha! Gotta love D mama humor! Forget the State of California! I'll buy you the cups! :)

  3. Breathing. Your. Air.

  4. This is awesome. And that's all I have to say about that... because I've just remembered I didn't call or text my wife about that lunch-time Low, as is protocol... (gulp).

  5. Yeah, what Nicole said. HELLOO nurses please!! I know you are rockin it even without a nurse Meri! I like to say that I wish I had a miniature version of a shock collar on my #2 girl...that way I may actually be able to get through to her :)

  6. I love this! I'm in your shoes as well, except minus 2. Nurses assistant can't do anything pump related J does it I listen over phone swagging goodies given out and adjusting based on activiy.

    Together we can make this invention a reality!

  7. And...yet again, another reason why MERI=MY HERO. Love you girl.

  8. All I can say is that you ROCK! Love ya girl!

  9. I hate the nervousness of tracking them down. Nine times out of ten its fine, but I want to be the one who says it's fine! at least the school let's them use the celly's!
    Your plan is perfect!

  10. I love this!! We have no school nurse and the same game plan. My son never calls, texts or acknowledges my text messages. It drives me. We have had a few "discussions" on this but perhaps if I apply your threats we may see results.

  11. I don't think you're crazy at all...quite talented and amazing actually...and inventive, too!

  12. Oh geez. This is over my head. I love my control. I am going to cry big rivers of tears when I have to give it up. And then I'm calling you to walk me thru school with no nurse.

  13. You make me laugh.
    And cry.
    Sending cups.

  14. i think it's great that you allow trading! social currency!

    what is with the kids and forgetting to call? i get that with L fairly frequently too! anxiety!


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