Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A good problem to have

The other day I came back with so much food from the grocery store it took some extra time to find a place to stack it in the fridge.  I started getting frustrated when the bacon fell on my feet.  I know it could have been worse…it could have been the butter, or the eggs…but I was already considering just stuffing it all in as hard as I could and slamming the door shut with rage.  Who cares if it all broke, the breaking of said frustrations would be freeing! 

And then I thought…having too much food for my refrigerator is a good problem to have.

My heart softened a bit as I picked up the bacon.  How lucky am I in my present circumstance to have a full refrigerator?

The thought has stuck with me.

When I was in traffic the other day and began to curse the cars in front of me, I stopped myself.

I have a car to pick up my boys whose school is across town.  Sitting in traffic in a car I own outright is a good problem to have. 

I look out at my backyard and think of all the work my oldest has put into the landscape.  He’s leaving next month and I know that my three youngest won’t be able to keep it looking the way it does.  I know my backyard is going to lose some of it’s magic.

But I have a backyard.  That’s a good problem to have.

L is just getting over a nasty stomach virus.  I was frustrated all day as all I wanted to see was a ketone meter that had a reading of 0.0.  But this was a good problem to have.  I HAVE a blood ketone meter.  Not too many years ago I wouldn’t have been able to accurately measure his ketones.

After leaving Costco yesterday there was a woman on the corner in the pouring rain with a sign saying she has three children and needs help.  I had given J some money to buy a hotdog and I knew he had a few dollars change.  I asked him for it and he quickly dug through his pockets and only came up with the twenty that I gave him to refill his hot lunch account at the high school.  “Quick!  Find the three dollars!”  But he couldn’t and I apologized to the lady as I drove by.

Two blocks later I realized only having a twenty in our pocket was a good problem to have.  I should have given it to her.  I’m not rich, heck I don’t have the funds to be throwing money out my window to people, but really…would giving away that twenty have made our family sacrifice anything?

Probably not.

I’m going to say it.  Diabetes is so hard and sucky, but man…it’s a good problem to have.  If we lived one hundred years ago it wouldn’t be a problem, because my boys wouldn’t have lived through the initial diagnosis.  Period.

I am humbled by the blessings in my life.  There are so many I really don’t have room to complain.  Trust me, there are days when all I want to do is complain...but deep in my heart I know there are others whose suffering is mountains above what I am going through.  I miss my husband so much my body aches...but I will see him again.  I know it.  I absolutely know it.  And when I do, there will be nothing tearing me away from his side.

When I run into something hard…when I get frustrated…when I wish for things…I promise, this season especially, I will find a way to realize:

That’s a good problem to have.

Because having my children by my side negates all the other "problems" a million times over.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Let them drink milk!

It’s 7:00pm and one of my boys just asked me if he could have a little milk. 

And I said, “Sure, but first check your sug…”

And then I stopped myself.  My head cocked to the side, and my eyes fixated on a tack on the wall, pausing to take in what I was just asking my son to do.

I was going to ask him to stick a needle in his finger, coax out some blood, get a number from the meter, relay that number back to me, analyze if that number is conducive to said milk drinking, make a decision, and THEN let him have his milk. 

I was seriously going to do that.

And as I was contemplating the insane protocol I was going to ask him to adhere to, he looked at me and in the sweetest voice said…

“It’s ok mom.  I’ll have some water.”

And I stood up and probably scared the boogers out of him and said, “NO!  It is not ok!  You want some milk, honey…go have some milk!”

“Ok.  I’ll check my sug…”

“No!  It’s just a little milk, go ahead.  DRINK milk for goodness sakes!”  My finger was pointed in the sky like I was a politician making a controversial statement.  I almost think my hand was tucked into my sweatshirt too.  Was I Napoleon?  It was a revolution!  I’m going to let my son drink milk without him checking his blood sugar!

He doesn’t need to check his sugar before he eats every little thing, for goodness sakes.  But it seems as though that’s the pattern we’ve been following.  My boys aren’t snackers.  They eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner.  That is it.  Sometimes dessert right after dinner.  But the 7-9 o’clock hour has been generally a no snack zone, unless there is a looming low. 

I’ve never made that rule.  It’s just the way it’s always been. 

All of this information charging through my brain, and all the boy wanted was a couple sips of milk.  Literally.

I bit my tongue.  I could have asked him to bolus 5 carbs.  But I was revolting for goodness sakes! 



Tonight anyway.

Tonight he will sip and walk away.

And later, if need be…we’ll pay the piper.

(And now...ten minutes after I wrote this, he came into the room drinking a big glass of water.  And I said, "Are you hi..."  What is wrong with me????  Can't a boy have some water without me asking him to CHECK HIS SUGAR to see if he's high?!!  The irony!)