Tuesday, June 15, 2010

In it to win it...together.

I was looking at my boys this morning. They are so big and have come so far. The journey they have taken so far has already been epic.

My three youngest were diagnosed as babies. 8 months. 2 years. 5 years. They needed so much help for years…we did E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. for them.

But now…NOW…things are different. They check their own sugars when they wake up. They often make their own breakfast, they count their own carbs…they bolus themselves. Even my 6 year old knows how many carbs are in a bowl of cereal, or a piece of toast, or his favorite, Eggo's. He knows if he has milk with his Eggo's he needs to use the little glass, and then add 10 more carbs. And if he forgets, my 12 year old is there to remind him. CRAY-Z!

It is so surreal.

They still totally need me of course…but life is so much easier now. Easier…not easy, but hell, it is a cake walk compared to when they were babies.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…those years were all a blur to me. I didn’t blog then, so my fuzzy memory is like an old broken down TV giving short grainy flashes of what was. The worry was deafening. I couldn’t focus on much more than their care. My husband was working 15 hour days then. Our marriage was strong…but only existed in two hour increments here and there. Sleep was a rare luxury. It is all there in my memory, but a distant echo of what was.

I’m glad I don’t relive it every day. I’m glad I have almost forgotten the archaic insulin my 8 month old was on…and the insane expectations that came with it. But lately, the babies have been on my mind.

Not my babies…those in our blogging community. I read their blogs and it breaks my heart. I know about the erratic blood sugar numbers that sometimes seem IMPOSSIBLE to fix. I know about the effect it has on their little personalities. I know their story. It is the same as mine.

I know.

So today I just wanted to send some love out to the babies and their parents. And I want to tell them that someday…someday soon, but not soon enough…it will be easier. You will soon share the responsibility with your baby. And your baby will surprise you at every corner with their bravery, their strength, their perspective and wit.

Your baby will amaze you. As my babies have today.

They will count carbs. They will give their own insulin. They will share the responsibility and it will make a huge difference in your life. You won’t be in it alone anymore…you’ll be in it together.

And together my friends, makes all the difference.


  1. Thanks Meri... I really needed to hear this today. I've had a bit of the diabetes blues lately. Plus I've gotten about 6 hours of sleep in the past 3 days, so that's just compounded the intensity of how I've been feeling (and let's not forget the preggo hormones!)

    But you reminded me of just how far Elise has come, and how far she will go. Thanks for being such an inspiration to the rest of us who have such little ones with D.

  2. Thanks for the love Meri!!!

    My babies were diagnosed at 18 months old and at 2 years old, I am only two years into our journey with D...but it has been a difficult and challenging journey so far.

    We have come a long way since those crazy months after dx, I am thankful for the knowledge and support I have gained from my fellow D-mom/dad bloggers like yourself! I still struggle everyday, I have really good days...and some really bad ones.

    Your story and those of all of my blogging buddies inspire me daily and they do remind me that there is light at the end of this tunnel. I may not always see the light, in those moments of dark you give me inspiration and remind me that things will get easier and all will be ok!

    Thanks again for your love and support and for the MUCH appreciated pep talk :)

  3. Even with Z being 3 1/2 now, we have come a long way since his dx almost 2 years ago! Thanks for letting me see that it will get even easier over time. I am looking forward to letting him help more and more. :)

    I really needed to hear this today!

  4. Thanks Meri I can totally relate cause my t1 baby is 25 !!! whew a long road but oh so worth it you know ? and as Im sure you know it is worth it right ? One day they will be grown men with kids of their own and they will understand then LOL !!!

  5. Meri,
    Thank you so much for your kind comment on my blog. I am so happy to hear the good news of your husband's recovery- it gives me so much hope!
    Your blog is fantastic, it seems like you do have your hands full and to take the time to write your experiences is such a gift to other people with diabetes and caregivers as well.
    I will absolutely look you up on FB!
    take care, and thanks so much.

  6. You rock Meri! You have to take credit with your hubby for all the work you have done to raise such fine young boys. Thank you for showing us a glimpse into how it's done. I admire you my cyberspace- friend.

  7. What an inspirational post! This is a gift to your readers!

  8. WOW, I really needed to hear that today. It brought me to tears.

  9. Excellent post, Meri!

    I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Just wondering how to transition Matthew from me taking responsibility to him taking ownership.

    He's only 9 and we're taking little steps, but as you know, there's a lot to learn.

    One day when you're really bored (HA HA, like that will happen!) maybe you could give some tips on how you are managing that transition.

    Sometimes you hear horror stories about kids who don't take on that responsibility and end up so ill....it's refreshing to read about your family!

    Thank you!!! (And I will pray they keep up the good work!!)

  10. Wow Meri! You have such a beautiful heart and you seem to always know what I need to hear. The past couple of days have been Bekah's first D-sick days. First bout with ketones since dx too. Your post brought out a few tears. My baby girl has amazed me in how far she has come in just 3 short months. Together we have checked for ketones and together we have worked to keep BG levels in a healthy range.

  11. It is so good to hear that things will get easier. I know they will, but sometimes I just need to hear it! It's been a year since Willie was dx at 10 months old, and I have mixed feelings. I want him to grow up so the diabetes will be easier to manage, but I don't want to miss all of these never-going-to-happen-again baby moments. Curse the big D!! Thanks for the encouragement and the HOPE!!!

  12. it's interesting how much I just NEED to hear these things. How your empathy and sympathy are so incredibly helpful,
    It is nice to hear stories from "the other side".
    I know it'll be okay, but it's hard to remember that in the midst of tiredness that is laced with anxiety.
    I appreciate you so much.
    Your Zero to Hero post has truly been a great changing point for me mentally.
    THANKS a million!

  13. I don't know how you all of you D-families with babies and toddlers do it. I deeply admire how everyone copes.
    Meri, your boys are a testament to how their awesome parents have raised them. Thank you for setting an amazing example.

  14. OH those babies. Those sweet, sweet babies....

    Addy is on the verge of 7. She tests on her own...operates her pump on her own....and it's SO NICE that she can participate in her care a little more these days.

    I remember wondering if these days would ever come, and yet....I felt a little sad when it did.

    Oh how they grow...

  15. Jada was nearly 3 when she was diagnosed and the difference I've seen in her over the last two months have been astounding to me. Now that she checks her own blood sugar, has a minimal understanding of the number and the fact that she can tell me when she feels low...has made ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the WORLD!!!
    Meri- you are amazing and your boys are doing so well b/c you have taught them well. Good job MOM! YOU ROCK!

  16. Great post!! Together more can be accomplished...in it together. Love it!

  17. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that someone out there knows the sorrows of my troubled heart. Thank you.
    I love reading about your boys and all that they accomplish...alone and with the help of their fantastic parents. It brings me hope.

  18. Muffin Moon and Big Swifty try to be in this together, agreeing our three yr old (with T1)'s diet, and practical management, but little boys often prefer their mums! I'm new to your blog and enjoy it very much, I'll become a regular. Andrew


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