Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I am a LOST junkie. I watch it every week faithfully. I think I love it. I don’t know why I look forward to it so much…it is just so intriguing to me. I love speculating what it all really means. The thrill of the hunt I suppose.

For those who are not LOST fanatics...let me give you a SUPER brief teeny tiny synopsis of what is going on.

The show has been on for 6 seasons. In the very first episode, there was a plane crash and now these people that survived are on this mysterious island…faced with monsters, things from dreams, shadows from their past, and mysterious groups of people, all there for different reasons it seems. (One such group for example, is called “The Others.”)

Point is…they don’t know what is real, and what is not. Who is good, or who is bad. It is a mess of confusion and it is up to the audience to determine what it all means. Different characters view their journey different ways. In the beginning, John Locke was known to be the man of faith. He believed he was brought to the island for a reason. Jack Shephard was a man of science. He believed that it was all neither here nor there…but just focused on how he could get off the island. As the seasons have progressed, so has the cast of characters attitudes and beliefs.

Where are ya goin’ Meri?

Well…Im kinda fellin’ like this whole diabetic life is a bit like LOST. What does it all mean? Were we brought to this point for a purpose? Is it all just dumb luck?

We were all wrecked here, right? We were planning to go to freakin’ Italy so to speak…and ended up nose diving into this LOST world. We have been stranded with a community of people that we wouldn’t have given a second look to, and yet they have become our best allies…The people we rely on to get us through the times when the smoke monsters spread confusion. We are finding we NEED each other. And in the process we are realizing we would have missed out on all of this if we were not stranded on this island in the first place. There are the “Others” of the Type 2 community. They are muddling along with us…their experiences here somewhat different than ours…but at the same time, they are on the same cruddy island living with very similar living conditions.

If diabetes never happened I wouldn’t be here. I would be living my life in a different place mentally all together…with a different perspective for sure.

But would that perspective be a better one?

The characters on LOST this season are in the process of finding out which would be better…a life where they NEVER landed on the island and NEVER witnessed that trials and horror that existed there, or a life living through the hell on the island, and growing because of it. Loving more. Feeling more. Living more. Each life brought a different set of values and completely different life perspectives. BUT! It is important to point out that both lives have value and both are worth living.

Now I’m going to stop here for a second and ask you t STOP your train of thought. NO! I am not HAPPY that we were wrecked her on Diabetic Island. It is scary here and this life isn’t just affecting me, but my husband and more than anyone, my children. But if my family HAS to be wrecked…I’m glad it is with good peeps that have my back. Just sayin’. Okey dokey, moving on…

The running theory for the LOST finale, is that the characters will have a choice…they have lived the life with the island, and they have lived a parallel life where the island never existed. Knowing what they have learned, knowing that both lives have molded them into different people…which life will they ultimately choose? I think they will all choose differently. And I think in our community, it would be the same way.

What is your perspective on all of this? I’m sure, just like the characters in LOST, your perspective has changed over time…and will continue to change as you grow, and experience all this island has to offer. The good and the bad. Like LOST, it is up to us to determine what it all means. Dumb luck? A divine hand? I can’t say what way I believe…I think I flip flop between the two. But what I can say is that through all of the trials that the last 12 years have handed out, I have more thoughtful priorities…priorities that I wouldn’t have had if none of this ever happened. Not that I’m happy about it or anything…but it is what it is.

So yeah, I’m LOST. Like the show, there are good days and bad days, there is heartbreak and joy…but an enduring spirit none the less. I go back and forth between science and faith…”When can I get off this flippin' island?” And “Wow, there are some wonderful beaches, how lucky am I to be here!” (Maybe I have some kind of island fever, I dunno.)

Through it all I have to wonder, will my family live here forever? Maybe…so I’m getting comfortable. I’m enjoying the scenery, focusing on the task or the monster that is in front of me at the moment, and in the process, getting to know the wonderful people that are stranded here with me.

Because whether I like it or not…I believe I am a different person for being here. And maybe, just maybe, that isn’t such a bad thing.


  1. You are so profound!

    Get of the island? Or stay on?

    Something to think about!

    If not for D, none of us would have crossed paths. And at this moment, I can't imagine that!

  2. cool analogy... I too love Lost, but have missed the last 4 episodes. I am so sad because I don't think I can catch up before the end, but I really need to find out what happens!!!

    So if we're lost, then who is Jack? Or Kate? Ben? Can I be the smoke monster?

  3. Love Lost and love you!

    I have to say, my exclamations of "I'm SO confused!!!" during the show are a bit more joyous than the ones where I'm going over Liam's logs. :)

    You are onto something here though. Lots of similarities. Maybe we should try to get all of us d-moms to an island to find out? Maybe Sandles somewhere or something? :)

  4. Love the analogy Meri! I am a huge LOST fan also, although I have not been watching this season.

    I don't know which I would choose, I love you all SO much and cannot imagine going through life without all of you!

    Great post, as always. :)

  5. Seriously Meri, you are such a talented writer and I am so grateful for your thoughts!I really needed a change of perspective this morning and you have definitely delivered!

    Thanks for your reassurances about joint pain! That makes me feel so much better!

    Love to you!

  6. Great post Meri! I don't watch LOST as it literally makes my head hurt at times from all the confusion, but I now wish I had watched from the very beginning. (And yes, I know it's out on DVD, but by the time I get free time to actually sit and watch all those episodes I will be a VERY old woman and really, who will sit and chat with me about it when I am in the old folks home???) Sorry, diversion.

    I feel this so much, so much of the time Meri. Who would I be had all this not happened to me and would I even like myself? Maybe there are reasons beyond my meager understanding, of what I needed in this life and what I got. There are lessons I needed to learn and I wouldn't have learned them anywhere else but through autism and through diabetes. I think I am wiser, kinder, more honest and enjoy every damned day of this life because of it. Maybe I would be like that even if they hadn't been in my life, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I think not.

    I do abide wholly by the adage 'it is what it is' cause I can't live in the land of wishing my life were different. There is beauty here. There is friendship beyond measure here. There is life here. I choose what I have. I guess I will stay on the island. You gals are welcome next to my beach chair any time. Mosey on over and I'll buy you a fruity drink with a straw in it. I'll even know the carb count on it :0)

  7. Wow, great post. I've been a LOST fan since the summer of 2004, when the pilot episode was leaked to the internet (and I even launched a LOST-related website on September 21, 2004), but I have never ever thought about how the themes of LOST relate to living with diabetes. Huh.


    Much like an episode of LOST, I now feel the need to go back and re-read this post a few more times. ;)

  8. Awesome post Meri. I don't watch LOST, but the way that you describe the show and compare it to D still made me get it and think... Which is good.

    I would get off the island in a heartbeat, but can't argue that i'm a better person for having been here. And I still think Gilligan's island seemed more fun and less scary :-)

  9. I really enjoyed this post. I don't watch LOST, but I like your analogy a lot. D has affected us all on so many levels. How could it not?! I know I am a changed person, because of it. My values, priorities and perspectives have all changed for the better. I appreciate all of the good it has brought into my life, but I still wish we weren't living with it. I am grateful for the people to whom it has introduced me and for the life lessons it has taught me, and I feel lucky that it's diabetic island, and not some other island, like terminal illness island. Still, I want off the island! I want the cure!

  10. Fantastic post, Meri.... really profound.
    I dont watch LOST either, although I have a co-worker that is a HUGE fan and he is constantly encouraging me to go out and get the DVD's - I just may do that now.
    I want off the island. BUT if ever I were to get off the island... I would be grateful (I AM grateful!!!) for the time I spent here. If we never get off the island... well... I know it will be ok... because of all of you here with me. =)


    I don't watch LOST, but love the analogy and whole-heartedly agree. I think each of us would choose differently. I for one know that being stranded on the D-island has changed me, Dave, Bridget, and Joe...and heck even those around us. I think for the most part for the better. It has brought out strengths and weaknesses in my personality that I did not even realize I had.

    I am grateful to be stranded here with YOU my friend. I have met and become friends with so many wonderful people through this experience. I like not feeling so alone.

  12. I can count on one hand how many episodes of LOST I've seen, but I get the general premise and I think you've drawn some interesting parallels here.

    I would totally agree. On one hand D island had dealt us a terrible blow and there are some bad times, but on the other hand, so many things have worked out for the better, and it's those people, relationships, events, activities... that have made life more fulfilling, and I know that if my son and our family weren't on this island our lives would be different but not necessarily better. We are closer than we've ever been and we have an amazing network of friends, locally, and extended online.

    I do wish the monster away, but I can't deny that good has come too, and I'm probably a better person for it too. Happy and ticked at the same time to be on D island.

    Thanks for sharing the great post!

  13. I loved this post. Meri! Have you read "The Third Policeman" by Flann O'Brien? Apparently the book gave the writers of Lost the basic idea. It sems to be about purgatory. Now that's a place we know!
    I would give up this T1D life in a second and it would be all the sweeter for having seen the dark side. Had I never experienced it then I would have missed a lot too.
    My bottom line is that I am grateful for insulin and that it exists at all. In my darkest moments I think of that.
    P.S. I am new-ish to your blog and am loving it. Your boys are just adorable.

  14. Can I say both..
    I know, for a fact, that my husband is the man I am in love with because of his experience taking care of his diabetes. So, my thought is would we be where we are at if he hadn't had to go through what he did...hmmm not so sure. I love him so much for all he is and part of that was knowing that he could handle such a difficult disease with ease. Don't get me wrong I hope daily for a cure for him (and Isaac), but knowing that his path brought us together makes me question if I'd want that path to be different.
    As for Isaac, yes, in a heartbeat I'd change it. Not that it matters WHEN your child gets diagnosed, but 19 months is AWFULLY young. I feel like I just started really knowing him, and now I wonder all the time if his behavior is tied to a BG reading. It's definitely something I currently HATE and wish were not anywhere near my baby.
    So, that's my 2 cents, yes and no...

  15. ok, you totally got me on this one. It's a re-post to my site. I would have never in my own dreams made this same conclusion, but it makes complete sense.

    YOU, are awesome.

  16. Awesome post!

    I don't watch Lost but I your question really makes me think.... I may have to answer you on my own blog. :) I think it's a question that is goes to the heart of our struggles with the D life.

    Hmmm... I feel a blog coming on....

  17. Wow! This is deep...and I've actually thought about this before.
    As much as I hate diabetes...it's possible complications...all the work involved...all the thinking...I really don't think I would get off this island. It's honestly changed me for the better. I take so much better care of myself, I've become more independent and mature, and now I have a career goal in mind! Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I never got diagnosed with diabetes....

  18. At this moment in time, on this day...I would get off the island in an instant, only because I hate to see both of my daughters suffer and struggle with T1D. They are so young and already have such a heavy weight to carry with them through life. I really feel like my girls never got a real chance to know what a life without D is like :(

    That being said...there have definately been some positive things that have happened in our lives and with me in my own personal growth that I wouldn't want to change. So, I would say to the powers that be...get me off the island but let me keep and treasure the friends and life lessons that we have aquired because of D.

    LOVED THIS MERI!!! Thank you for another fabulous post.

  19. So awesome! Nicely done. I didn't start watching LOST until last year, streaming in on my laptop. Boy, did I loose a few weeks of productivity! But, I did manage to get a blog post out of it :) - Mo

  20. off topic question...about your son who was diagnosed right before K, my son seems to be having similar BG readings (95% normal 5%high) at any point did you have a HbA1C done? I'm soooo anxious about him having D too that I wonder if we should try an OTC test kit. I don't want to take him in to the drs unnecessarily and freak him out as he's such a sensitive child and I'd like peace of mind. Other ? is do you guys use MM cgm at all?
    Thank Meri for your input.

  21. John 16:33 (New International Version)

    33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

    "In this world, you will have trouble." It's just the way life is. God never promised life would be easy.

    Do I wish I could take this away from Addy? I do. I think that's a natural parental instinct.

    Would I trade it for another trial?


    Because "In this world, you will have trouble"...and the grass is rarely greener on the other side...

    I'll take the path I'm given and be thankful for the blessings I encounter along the way.

    Thank you for, yet another, beautiful post.

  22. Because of Hallie's post tonight I had to hunt this one down that she referenced. Wow! What a great post. It is something that I have been thinking about over the past week or so. For both Bekah and I what good will come and how will we as a family and individually be better off because D has been a part of our lives.


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