Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A Charlie Brown Day

Picture Charlie Brown...He's got his eye on the football. He is full of optimism and hope. He is sure that this time he will kick that ball to the moon. Holding the ball is Lucy, she is grinning, she is reassuring. She prompts him, "Come on Charlie Brown, you can do it!" And Charlie Brown believes. He runs. He runs as fast as his blessed little legs will take him. Then, with all the force he can muster he takes his leg back to kick....and then Lucy, she snatches that ball away and poor Charlie Brown is left on his back, humiliated.

Picture Meri...she's got her eye on having the best first day of school ever. She is full of optimism and hope. She is sure she will kick that ball to the moon. Holding the ball is the BiG D. He is smiling that stupid grin, he is reassuring. He prompts her, "Come on Meri, we're friends now, you know I won't let you down, you can do it!" And Meri believes. She prepares. She is READY. She runs. She blows full force into a day believing with all her heart that this time she is so prepared that she will kick that ball. SHE WILL KICK THAT BALL'S ARSE! And just as her day begins, the Big D snatches that ball away and Meri is left flat on her back, humiliated.

Today was the big day, the first day of school. I got up early. I showered before I got the boys up. All their clothes were laid out the night before. All their backpacks were ready, lined up at the door. I was ready. I woke up the older three boys. They were eager to start the first day of school. But hold it! What is this?! L won't get out of bed. He is crying, he says he is never getting up. I check his blood sugar and WHAT THE.....??????? He was 469! He needs a new set and there is no time. I gave him a shot and he finally got up 20 minutes before it was time to go. He had his cereal, got dressed and we flew out the door.

Luckily, L's first day of Kindergarten was only 2 hours and I was supposed to attend with him. We had a nice morning together until the parents were to meet in the school garden for 30 minutes while the little ones went outside to play and learn the rules of the playground. I checked Luke's sugar, 155, with a smidgen on board. He'll be fine...Came back from the garden meeting and the kids were walking in from the fun and met on the rug for circle. But what is this? L is not participating. They are supposed to follow her, she is teaching them sign language and he is not signing along. They line up to leave and I wait outside, ready to hug him and congratulate him on his first day. "L! L honey! I'm over here!" He just stared ahead and didn't look at me. I put my arm around him. "Mama, I'm low." Checked his sugar and he was 50. In less than 40 minutes he had dropped 105 pts.

I get home and 1 hour later comes a call from B. Hysterical and crying. He told me his best friends said they didn't like him anymore and that they never want to play with him again. He yelled at them and threatened to hit them. He was on his way to the principals office. My 7 year old son got sent to the Principal's office on the first day of school. I have never had a son sent to the principals office, ever. He did not check his sugar before lunch, and he was higher than normal. (Not that it makes what he did OK.) The thing is, B is the most laid back, happy, nicest kid in the world. And also, we are not a hitting family. The boys very very rarely hit each other, and when they do they get a huge lecture that goes something like, "If you get to hit, your brothers get to hit and Mom and Dad get to hit too. So are we a hitting family or not?" And we are not. Why does he explode at school? Why is he so sensitive there and here at home he has no fear. I know the first day is overwhelming, but it's so Jekyll and Hyde.

Then I got home at 2:30 and filled 4 big packets of emergency forms and registrations for 2 hours. My husband ran to get the scientific calculator and the Spanish to English dictionary that my 9th grader HAD to have at school tomorrow. B had swimming at 4:30. L had soccer at 5:00. J and M had scouts at 7:00. In between we had dinner at my in laws. Turkey and Mashed potatoes. Comfort food! God bless my mother in law! I had two helpings and didn't even care I was blowing my diet.

So, now I am home, regrouping.

I cried 3 times today. Tomorrow I am aiming for 1. A girl's gotta have goals. And as for Big D. I'm not even aiming for the ball tomorrow...I'm aiming for him.


  1. GO MERI! Get Big D where it counts and make it hurt!!!
    Wow- what a day! Tomorrow's a new one- and His mercies are new EVERDAY! I'm praying for a better start tomorrow!

  2. Wow, good way to explain it! I'm totally Charlie Brown MANY days! I'm so sorry....I wish the first day of school for your kids was flawless. I know how you feel. All the expectations we be shot down just like that....on a day when we just want peace!

    I have to admit, on the first day of school when I see all the younger grade students with their parents surrounding them so happy and snapping pictures, it makes me feel cheated. We just want an unevenful day, a day that Diabetes wont interfere with our kids back to school excitement. It makes me sad. It makes me realize how "easy" life/school was before Diabetes. Thats usually when I cry, right after dropping Diabetes off at school on day 1.

    Aim for HIM. I hope tomorrow you find some comfort in your heart knowing we are all praying for you. For your boys....for your sanity with back to school! :) Big HUGS!!

  3. Go MERI GO MERI Go MERI!!!!!

    Today will be your day -- you'll triumph, I can feel it!!!!!!

    I'm so sorry to hear about Day 1. This diabetes and school stuff really bites big time.

    You're such an inspiration to moms like me -- I can't wait to hear about your awesome day!!!!

  4. Meri - I love you and your family, and I am filled with sadness and regret that I have not been there for you as you have battled so bravely for your sons. I am here now, and I cannot wait to see you as soon as is humanly possible. I am inspired by you, and your writing is incredible. You are witty, human and quite possibly the most incredible Mom I know. My Mom is so proud of you :)

  5. I know how you felt at least your son could tell how low he was . My son always had the problem of not feeling it coming on and it used to worry the snot out of me . but as he got older the awareness became more evident with him thank god .


Moderation now enabled, so comments will not immediately be seen.