Monday, August 17, 2009

Fighting the Funk

When it rains, it pours.

Why isn’t it ever just one? One diabetic that is out of whack. Why is it that all three of my diabetics need basal adjustments just a couple days before school starts? Why is it that B is waking up in the 60’s every morning no matter what I do? (Sigh) CURSE THESE DIABETES INIGMAS!

I’m riding a low, and I am constantly asking myself why I feel this way. Am I overwhelmed? I don’t think so. Am I over my head? Maybe. Is being over my head the same thing as being overwhelmed, and I’m just in denial? I think mostly it’s that old diabetic adage (that probably goes something like…,) “The minute you got it figured out, the very next minute diabetes kicks you in the arse.”

Why is B waking up low every morning?

Why is L going low before lunch all of a sudden?

Why is J going low after dinner every night?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

I’ll roll back the basal rates, but these lows are coming out of nowhere. No changes have been made to make them happen. They haven’t happened all summer. Why the week before school?

Why does diabetes hate me? I play nice. I appreciate that my children lead semi-normal lives. I appreciate that I wouldn’t trade our disease with someone else’s. I appreciate the blessings in our lives.

You know what the crazy part is? I made an oath, (see a couple posts ago,) not to get overwhelmed this year with the Diabetes Blues. I promised myself a new outlook and I have adopted it with open arms. I am hardly nervous of school starting, because I know it will all work out.

So why the pity party? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I so need to get out of this funk! It is ridiculous! It is silly! It is pathetic! (If I scream it loud enough will my brain listen?)

I can do this…I just needed to get it out of my brain and down on (virtual) paper... Admitting I feel like I’m in the crapper is the first step…now onto the next step! No idea what the next step is…but I’m going to call it progress just wanting to know what it is.


  1. WOOHOO!!!! It's a PARTY...I'll bring the wine :)

    Whew! You just confirmed for me that I'm not crazy. Thank you for your transparency. God knows I needed that!

    ((HUGS)) This too shall pass...the end of the year is coming. Nevermind the start or the middle -- just remember that it'll be over one day :)

  2. I love you Meri, but you need to realize "it is what it is." Why do pumps break when the aunt is watching the boys for five days and the parents are vacationing in Mexico? Why do you get a toothache on Friday night? Why do you get the flu when you don't even have a doctor? Why does a person decide to become a teacher at the worst possible time? That's life. Remember your family motto..."you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Maybe I don't get everything you have to deal with, but it's all about the attitude. You can fight or give up. Please keep on swimming with a smile on your face:) It's been proven that it helps!!! My motto:"It always works out in the end!!" Love your pain in the butt and always or almost always optimistic Psycho Sister in-law a.k.a Psycho SIL

  3. I dont usually post to others comments....but LISA LISA LISA.....I'm sure your are trying to be helpful, even though Diabetes "is what it is" doesnt mean it isnt incredibly stressful. Stress that Meri has x's 3. Imagine fighting Diabetes every day for YOUR children. You should LISTEN to Meri. JUST LISTEN. Maybe thats all she needs right now.

    Meri, I know people must tell you all the time that they dont know how you can manage 3 kids with Diabetes....I can only imagine too. Pity parties dont always mean you pity yourself. It means you feel stressed, overwhemled, sad, angry....whatever. We need time to vent and time to ADMIT we are feeling terrible. There is nothing wrong with that and it doesnt mean you aren't grateful for what you do have in life & health. Remember that.

    Diabetes for one is a constant battle. Do you know anyone that honestly is kicked down several times a day (x's 3)and still stays optimistic 100% of the time? I doubt it.

    Diabetes for Maddison and I is double duty.....You are doing this for THREE of your kids! YOUR KIDS! Of course you feel down when our kids are out of whack! WE LOVE THEM! Feeling down and pitiful isnt pathetic! You gotta allow yourself to feel what you feel. Then move on, as we always do :) ((HUGS))

  4. Oh Meri---Although these are hard feelings to be dealing with (You read my blog and know where I am right now) it is good to see that you aren't alone feeling this way. Sometimes its hard. And I like to know that I'm not crazy and the only one fighting these overwhelmed feelings. Thanks. Hugs. We will all get through the beginning of school together.

  5. Hi Honey, it's Mom. You know how my summer has been and I worry that my "spirits" have affected others. But I just have to let you know the impressions I've been having lately. And that's to celebrate. Great things are going to happen for us all. I can't get that "celebrate!" phrase out of my head. If our trials are tests, then we're passing and we need to be prepared to celebrate the good times that are coming. I'm believing that and you know that I'll be there whenever you need me. Love you so much. Lisa, love you too. Thanks to all Meri's on-line friends. I'm grateful for you too.


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