Monday, December 10, 2012

Things I've learned lately

The list below is just the tip of the iceberg.

1) When you do yard work:  Don't wear flip flops.

2) (Addendum to #1)  When your husband says you need new tools to keep the yard tidy, buy them for him...those clippers really are sucky.

3) BBQ's are really gross.

4) Going back to bed after the kids leave for school is almost always a bad idea.

5) If something bad happens to you, people's number one advice for you is to sleep.

6)  Cars, especially old trucks, need lots of oils and liquids put in them.  If you don't know the name of the liquid, you are in trouble.

7)  Everything is really expensive.

8)  Blood sugars and sadness are like heterogeneous liquids.

9)  Those who pass on are closer than we think.

10)  Strangers are going to ask questions if you have a ring hanging around your neck.  And if you give them the simple answer that it is your husbands, they will not be afraid to follow up with, "Why isn't he wearing it?"

11)  Everyone has good inside them.  Sometimes they hide it, but it is there.  They let it shine when they are enveloped in compassion for another person.  As hard as it has been to lose Ryan, if there is a silver's that good people's countenances are shining all around me.

12)  Scrambled eggs taste better cooked with butter rather than a cooking spray. 

13)  Accepting help.  It's not as easy as it sounds.

14)  Writing sets me free.  (Validated yet again.)

15)  There is a cat "thing" going on in my neighborhood.  They sit at the end of my driveway for hours.  They look in my window.  They pace the fence.  If I wasn't sane, or almost sane, I would think they are guarding my house.  One in particular tries to come in every time we walk in the door.  I'm not a cat person.  It's a bit amusing, but horrifyingly eerie at the same time.

16)  If you have good credit and pay all your bills, (including your mortgage,) on time...your mortgage company doesn't want to talk to you.  "Call back when you are behind on your payments." thank you.

17)  It isn't enough to set your alarm for 2:00.  You must make sure it says AM and not PM.

18)  Christmas music is mostly nostalgic and depressing.

19)  If you love someone.  Tell them.  Guaranteed that they need to hear it.  I'm sure they are waiting for it right now. 

20)  Bad blood sugars don't last forever.  The future holds better numbers.

21)  Look up.  The sky has a message for you.

22)  God answers prayers.

23)  Pump sets can seem eternally frustrating, but if you keep at it...eventually you become the boss.

24)  If everyone treated everyone else with the same kindness they treat me, this world would be amazingball.

25)  Don't comment on your teenage son's facebook status 12 times.  

26)  Try new things.  Strawberry Rhubarb pie is the the bomb!  I had it for the first time in October and realize I've missed out on its wonderfulness lo these many years.

27)  Liquid Drano doesn't always work.  Not cool.

28)  Waking up your son to kill a big nasty spider is ok. (Someone told me to vacuum up the big suckers, but what if it survives the original suckage?  What if it lives and lays baby eggs and new spiders are born in the canister?)

29)  I have a music problem that I need to deal with.  I can glean a message from every song anywhere and apply it to me.  Most people don't even listen to the words.  I'm learning I want to be most people. 

30)  Awesomeness has no age limit.  My children are way stronger than I give them credit for.  The other night my leaky eye syndrome was acting up.  (Usually this only happens when the boys are at school.)  My youngest L took my hand and sat and cried with me for a half hour.  He comforted me with the sweetest words.  How can a 9 year old intuitively know what to say to make everything better? 

31) Which will be my last one...and I know it will bug the heck out of some people that I'm not ending on a nice even number...but...I'm doing it because I've learned I have a bit of a rebellious side to me, and I'm embracing it. 


  1. oh how i love this! and #28.....totally ok! and so is pulling over to a screeching halt on the side of the road to have your 8 yr old daughter kill a spider that has been taunting you from the dashboard. lol

  2. Love this!!! You're so awesome. xoxo #10- Seriously? #28- my same thought, and #30- Love that. I have to give my little ones more credit.

  3. I love reading your posts! So much insight and love in your words. #30 made me tear up. Laughed at #25 (been there, done that)and never forget #22! Go rebel you!!!!

  4. oye, how do I cry so easily these days? Your #11 is so true. I believe one of the hardest things our young family has gone through was loosing my father-in-law when our boys were young, yet out of it has been an unbelievable outpouring love from our friends and extended family that did NOT end weeks, months or even years after. We are so loved, there is so much good out there, as my father-in-law always said, "life is good, now go get at it!" Have an amazing week Meri :)

  5. I might always say this, but this is my favorite post yet! All of the man-or should I say "man"-things you're learning make the grief tangible: tools, BBQ, car liquids...I am so sorry Ryan's gone.

    In terms of songs, are you familiar with CeeLo Green's CRY BABY, an up-tempo ditty about a pancreas abandoning your very own child?

  6. Dear Meri,

    I have been a 'silent' follower as I have never left a comment. BUT I have said many prayers for you as I read your story everyday. Many times I lift up your name throughout my day as something you wrote comes back to me. Today, I had to write to say 'thank you' for being authentic, genuine, real, wise, funny, and amazing! Number 11 on your blog today melted my heart: "Everyone has good inside them. Sometimes they hide it, but it is there. They let it shine when they are enveloped in compassion for another person." What a beautiful statement and realization. I entered into my journal of "musings" so that I may revisit it often. I hope that my 'silent' compassion for you and your family has somehow buoyed you.

  7. Completely agree about number 11 here. Definitely number 14 too. And kudos to you for fitting in the word heterogeneous. Love all your posts. Thanks

  8. Dear Meri,

    I am much like Julie in that I am a silent follower for the most part. Number 6 is particularly poignant as my husband is such a fanatic about oil changes, etc. He taught our daughter to change her own oil on her old Toyota van. She had to move the seat in order to change it. The last thing he says to our kids is, "Make sure you check the oil!" I am one of the worst when it comes to being afraid of spiders so I completely understand your having a son to kill it. Just don't lose control of the car!

    Number 9 is especially good for me to read. My dad died in October. He and my mom had been married almost 72 years. The grief hits at the most unexpected times. I am so glad your boys understand and are willing to share that grief with you.

    Thank you for sharing with all of us. I pray for you often.

  9. Meri, sorry, I misunderstood about the spider. Waking them up is OKAY!

  10. Such a lovely list of gentle reminders for us all.
    I'm so glad you write!

  11. I love you and you are awesome!

  12. Love you too Meri. Once again your writing sparkles and shines.

  13. #12: I don't know if the scrambled egg comment should be taken at face-value or if it's a metaphor for something bigger, but it's something my recently-retired-uncle-turned-gourmet-chef recently learned and taught me. The little things make all the difference, and you forget what you've been missing until you go back to doing them. Enjoy the unhealthy butter - it's worth it.

    #30: The answer is simple. It's because you and Ryan raised him with your values, and taught him to express love and compassion in the same way you would do so yourselves.

  14. #5 Made me laugh out loud. #26 - Awwww yeah. And #22...I'd love to be able to talk to you about #22 because I'm struggling with this one. XOXO.

  15. so I've sat back and enjoyed your blog for a long time now from one woman to another who knows what it is like to have a linen closet full of reservoirs and lancets. I'm terribly sorry that Ryan is no longer by your side and I feel that pain through your words as well. I recently lost my Mom, exactly two years after my Dad passed away. She couldn't live without him so as 'orphaned' as I feel, you help my feelings come alive and real. For that, I thank you as I've been trying to be strong for family and my brothers family. Thank you for being such an inspiration to those who don't have quite the knack for putting feelings in words. Merry Christmas, Meri.

  16. All wonderful observations, as always, from a very special woman! Number nine resonates with me the most though. May that thought bring you comfort in these trying times.


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