As a young girl, I was hardwired to believe that the sight of blood was a bad thing. Bright red meant danger.
Blood meant Band-Aids, Neosporin and warm washcloths to cleanse the wound.
Blood meant that someone was injured. It meant pain. It meant tears.
It meant that the protective armor of a scab would come to protect the wound while it heals.
Blood was never a good thing.
And now here I am, a mother of three boys with Type 1 Diabetes. My fearful perspective of blood has been diluted. So much so, blood doesn't evoke the feelings of danger that it once did.
Blood is now a symbol of the boys testing their blood sugar, and as such...it doesn't faze me.
I washed blood off the front door today. Seriously, who does that?
How did it get there?
Was it from a quick test before running out the door to school?
Was it from a quick test before riding a bicycle?
Was it from a quick test before running out to scouts?
I don't know. All I know is that the blood is a good thing. It means they are testing. And testing means safety.
When I wash the blood off counter tops, cabinet doors, light switches, and knobs...my memories often flicker back to the time when blood would startle me.
And after I remember, I then wonder what another person would think if they saw it.
Would they be horrified? Would they think it was disgusting?
I assume that they would.
Unless it was the blood of their own child, deep down I am assured they would feel differently if that were the case.
Part of me feels like I am supposed to be disgusted. But the numbness doesn't allow me to feel that way anymore.
Blood is now sacred. Every drop I see fall...every drop I clean up...I have the deepest respect for.
Blood doesn't mean death or fear or harm as it once did.
Blood means life.
And my boys live.
The blood on my door tells me so. My soul stirs with happiness because it is so.
(A blog post all about diabetes? How is that for Normaling?! Booyeah!)
What strong kids our little T1s are too. Fall down, get up bleeding, and keep on going. I try to focus on how strong my Jack is because of diabetes, yet there are those moments where I think "blood should startle you" and it doesn't. Because you are so right, blood means he is still alive and I am thankful for every drop. Thinking of your family today and everyday.
ReplyDeleteI will try to remember this when I am washing a pair of khakis that have been worn only once to church (3 hours wear time) and must be washed because of the blood smear on them. :/
ReplyDeleteYour 'normaling' is AWSCHUM! Blood. Is. Life.
ReplyDeleteWe have two diabetics in our house and have our share of blood around. Whenever I see a crime show where they spray luminol, I always wonder what my house would look like if luminol was ever sprayed there.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I was thinking! Our house with 4 out of 5 T1s is a hotbed of testing and splotches on door frames and switchplates is so common. We do watch some of those shows and always say, "What on earth would they think about our house?" Thanks for sharing. Meri, you nailed it once again - blood is seen in a whole new light - life.
DeleteBooyeah is right!! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how we see blood differently because of this crazy D life! Blood is no longer a 'oh no, what happened' thing it's a 'keeping them alive' thing.
I am amazed at the places it can wind up!!
I've often reflected on how our D-houses would probably totally throw off the crime-scene investigators if they ever came inside and saw the blood remnants. Especially those "gushers" from fussy pump sites... If we were a movie script title, it could very well be called - "Diabetes: There will be blood."
ReplyDeleteWe often laugh at how "normal" it is to see all the blood we do, I think because of it when there are injuries, real ones, I am less reactive, more like yeah I've seen blood before! However, with that said Isaac has been getting in a bit of trouble lately for using me as his bloody finger wiping spot, no go with brand new white shirts...grrrr! Hopefully it is just a phase, hopefully!
ReplyDeletekicking ass on the normaling tip, awww yeah!
ReplyDeleteit's interesting how my relationship with blood has changed over the years, like you've said here. it's even different for my kid, who frequently likes to use her own blood in D art projects.
We are a total biohazard over here. Love your "normaling" dear Meri. Xo
ReplyDeleteI was never a fan of blood either, and needles? forget about it, EEEW! Now it doesn't faze me. I do wonder what people think though, just yesterday I took my kids to the pool, as I sat there watching, I checked Kortnie's BG, 67, eat some tabs and recheck up to 93, 2 more tabs and off to swim, recheck in 30 minutes. I got quite a few odd looks from the group of mom's next to me, I wondered what they were thinking, but they didn't ask any questions and I didn't volunteer anything either, sometimes, just like Kork, I don't want to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteWay to Normal! Sending hugs your way!
When my daughter was diagnosed at 3 yrs old I was horrified that I would have to prick those perfect little pink fingers on my "baby" who at that point I don't think had ever had to have a bandaid for a cut...she had never really bled. Now it's so second nature. When she recently, at 11, got her first period at school the school nurse & her teacher just kept telling me how well she handled herself, how many girls freak out & have to be sent home from school, but how mine just walked in, told the nurse what was happening, handled it & went back to class. I reminded them that my girl pricks her finger at least 8 times a day, has sites that sometimes bleed & is very used to her own blood.
ReplyDeleteI find blood spots everywhere from random testing, used test strips in the oddest places - she's testing - it's all good!
embracing your new normal
Testing matters a lot. I hope they will keep a normal sugar level.
ReplyDeleteRaquel