I'm online a lot.
There is no secret about that.
And in case you were one of the few that did not know...
Now you know.
I READ A LOT. Tons and tons of blogs, and Facebook statuses galore. It started out as a venue to quash my aloneness in this diabetic life, and it morphed into friendships that I cherish and support systems that I rely on.
Yes, I'm ok with feeling close to people I've never met. After all...we have the same hearts. We want the same thing. We all fight the good fight.
And being online allows me to come out of my shell and say what I want to say, from the depths of my soul.
It seems it does the same for everyone else too.
Which leads me to why I'm here today. OPINIONS...everyone has them. Right or wrong. We all have opinions about something. I, in fact, am SUPER opinionated. (Somewhere in Cyberland my parents are reading this and nodding uncontrollably.) And here is the thing...It is OKAY to have your own opinion! Totally Okay. It is ok to write down your own opinion...it is YOUR status. YOUR blog. YOUR tweet. It is like your home, and the people reading are being invited in. They can leave if they want. They do not have to LIKE your opinion.
Have your opinion. OWN your opinion.
Just respect everyone else's too.
We can foster respect by...being respectful. (I know, really clever, right?) We can agree to disagree. But why name calling? Why putting people down? We have the right to tell someone you disagree with them...but isn't there a way to do it without snarkiness spitting off our tongue?
Sure snarkiness has its place, I can certainly be snarky...but when it meant to hurt someone, or tell them they are ignorant, or wrong, or stupid, or heaven forbid...that someone shouldn't feel the way that they do! or any other mean spirited thing...well...that is just mean.
We are allowed to have our own feelings. But not everyone is in the same place emotionally as everyone else. Respect their grief. Respect their anger. Respect their fear. Respect their happiness.
Let everyone live their story...and if we disagree...then tell them so if we must! But can't we do it in a way that doesn't count out their feelings?
Feelings! Where is Barbara Streisand when you need her???
Maybe it seems like I'm wagging my finger at some people, but I'm not. I only hope to bring this all into a new perspective.
If you point a finger at someone, there are three more pointing back at you...that goes for me too. I've had to take a hard look at myself lately. I don't agree with a lot of things floating around cyber space. It isn't easy for me to tell people how I feel without putting them down. Not easy, but totally worth the effort. It is an art for sure.
This is the end of my public service announcement. I'm going to wrap this all up in a bow with the quote below...
"Truth is one forever absolute, but opinion is truth filtered through moods, the blood, and the disposition of the spectator." ~Wendell Phillips
Your mood. Your blood. Your disposition. They are different than mine. We won't always think the same. But we can listen the same....and respect the same too.
BRAVO...BRAVO...BRAVO Meri. I have been noticing a little "negativity" or judgement on line too. It made me a little bummed out to see people be insensitive to some of their fellow D Mamas. To MaMas putting it all out there to advocate, to educate, and to squelch "aloneness" in sharing their "same-same".
ReplyDeleteYou = MY HERO.
so true meri, and oddly I had learned it was "in my humble opinion".
ReplyDeletei agree about sharing you opinion and owning it, but being unkind is never necessary. However, it's sometimes hard on the internet to read the feelings of others and seems sometimes people want to read comments as snarky when they're not. I always remind my friends on CWD (bec there is a lot of drama on that forum!) to read it with a smile on their face and knowing that the writer has the best of intentions.
Hope your day is going well and thanks for this PSA!
Amen, sister!! I think it can be easy to forget that you are reading about a PERSON. A person who loves their kid. A person who is probably doing their best. A person who is human and fallible. And so, if you have nothing nice to say... Don't say anything at all. Love you, sweet lady!
ReplyDeleteYou're fabulous for writing this so eloquently. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteWell said!!! I'm truly appaled by some of the comments and statements I've been reading lately and so badly want to scream at the little people in my computer!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW I had no idea what IMHO ment before today :)
Well put, as always!
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you!!! I was a little hesitant to start my blog and have been hesitant to post too much D-related stuff on FB for this reason. Fortunately, I've yet to come across much negativity...maybe it's cause I'm still pretty fresh in terms of my online presence or that I haven't yet found and explored all the places for us D-moms and dads. Like Hallie, I think Thumper had some great advice --If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE! It drives me crazy when people "hate" or try to tell you how you feel is wrong. What is so great about the online community is we can connect even when we are so far apart. The DOC has given me a sense of community I don't think that could ever be replicated in "real" life.
ReplyDeleteCheers :) great post!
Exactly!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you put this out there. It needed to be said. We all need to be polite, respectful and thoughtful.
"Where is Barbara Streisand when you need her???" -- That cracked me up!!! :)
Sarah, Oh my goodness! It totally could be "in my humble opinion!"
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean I might not know everything?? HUMPH!
:)
Good Post Meri. I don't see it as much on other's blogs as I do on Facebook. But you are absolutely right. (in my humble opinion)
ReplyDeleteWay to Go.
(Just had a thought, we even can't agree on whether it's humble or honest opinion! I grew up with it being humble, but why can't it be honest?)
Well put. Amen. I have been turned off of certain forums simply due to the drama, and lack of respect. Cheers and have a great day!
ReplyDeletealright Meri who ticked you off ? did someone try to tell you that you are not allowed an opinion ? let me at them LOL , nah just kidding of course you can have your own opinion my dear and we all have them seems like I remember my dad saying something like opinions are like candy bars or something like that , cant remember now . Way to go Meri !!!
ReplyDeleteIMHO.....(and I thought it was "humble" too)..........
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!
Nicely written, Meri, and a good reminder for all of us.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Meri! : ) Good reminder, and you are right, we should be kind, hearts are at stake. : ) Holly
ReplyDeleteI wish everyone could in fact have opinions and that people actually would respect that.
ReplyDeleteI recently said something snarky and got accused of being "unsupportive." Even though the snarky comment was not directed at anyone in our DOC, but at a troll looking to pick a fight and question a law that was put in place to protect children with diabetes in school.
But what made it worse was not the person trying to call me out, but the fact that this person told at least five people that they also shouldn't like me anymore.
My feelings were hurt (and continue to be) that this person would turn around and bad mouth me when I have nothing but good intentions.
I think that people forget that even though they can hide behind their computer screens that there are real people with real feelings writing blogs, posting on facebook, and tweeting.
I'm pretty sure people are capable of thinking for themselves. It seems pretty juvenile to suggest that someone could "make" a group of people "stop liking you."
ReplyDeleteIn fact, that's downright egocentric.
Maybe it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Ooh, ouch!
ReplyDeleteI kind of thought the point of Meri's post was that people should be tolerant of others.
Here the first anon commentor says his or her feelings are hurt and then the 2nd anon commentor goes off on that person?
Can't we all get along? Or at least act like we aren't in high school?
Great post Meri! You always have the right words to say. I think by putting ourselves out there in the way we do leaves us open for the hurtful stuff. The thing that drives ME crazy is the anonymous comments. I agree that we should be able to have an opinion and it CAN be shared respectfully... I also think we should stand behind it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Meri!
ReplyDeleteWow! Llama Llama, Why such drama??
Maybe people shouldn't be allowed to leave anon comments anymore...
Anon #1... Maybe you should talk to the person directly. Or people. If you have not done that, maybe you should. Maybe you'd find out what is really going on. It sounds like it's really bothering you... Maybe it's time to find out the truth? Just an idea...
(And I'm sorry. I just had to leave this as another ANON comment because it's funnier that way!)
WHOA! A girl leaves her blog for the afternoon and fireworks!!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why we need to be so careful about what we say. Sarah is right, the context of things can be taken wrong online. There is no voice to soften it, especially when we choose to be criptic.
I hope that everyone aired out how they feel and can let whatever happened go. If you hang onto it...you are choosing to let it live. Did you witness this bad mouthing firsthand? Maybe choose the high road and let it go. I'm sure people know your heart from your writing, if you are a blogger. Try to have faith that people are kinder than you think.
In the words of the infamous Dr. Seuss..."Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
I now read the D blogs instead of going on certain on line sites because of the lack of negativity and judgment on the blogs. Brave of you to share your experiences to connect with and help others. You can always delete the rude comments, which is something you cannot do on an internet site.
ReplyDeleteIn the words of the infamous Dr. Seuss..."Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
ReplyDeleteYep, Yep! Couldn't have said it better than Dr. Suess . . . couldn't have said it at ALL without slowing down real slow to say the wordfs without tripping all over them ;)
Love you, Mmmmeeeerrrrriiii!!
Perfect!
ReplyDelete1 Peter 3:8-9
ReplyDelete"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."
I read this a few days ago before catching up on some other reading.
ReplyDeleteNOW I get it!
At least I think I do.
:)