Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Talk

It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been putting it off because it is heartbreaking and hard. But it was time. J needed to hear it.

J has been “forgetting” to check his sugars all year at school. He often calls me at lunch and says, “I’m 330 Right Now.” He forgets to check before snack. He forgets to bolus for his snack. He forgets to check BEFORE he eats lunch. And then calls me after lunch with info on what he ate and his blood sugar in the aftermath of it all. I try to gently as possible make my point. I tell him it is not healthy for his body. That it isn’t safe. That he is hurting himself. He just doesn’t get it.

Hence…THE TALK.

I sat him between my husband and me. He asked if we were going to talk about something serious.

I said yes.

I explained to him that it is a new year. Things are going to change. He is almost a teenager and more than able to take care of himself. When he was younger, I did it all for him. And he was fine with it. He wasn’t embarrassed if I called in the middle of class to remind him to check. He wasn’t embarrassed of me poking my head into class to get his carb amounts after lunch. But he is now. So if he doesn’t want me embarrassing him, then he needs to step up. Because for now on, if he doesn’t check…I WILL call…I WILL stop by. Not because I WANT to embarrass him, but because I love him.

The hardest part was explaining to him the damage he could be doing to himself. I had to tell him that diabetes will eat you alive if you ignore it. I had to tell him that he could lose his vision...that every organ in his body depends on him taking care of himself. I wasn’t too detailed or graphic, but I made my point.

I told him he could lead a healthy happy life….all he needed to do while he was at school was check his sugar at certain times of the day…and bolus before he puts any food in his mouth. I explained to him I have told him time and time again and I don’t know what to do anymore.

He said, “No mom, you have never told me this. I get it now. I can do it.”

We programmed his new watch to alarm right before snack time and right before lunch. I told him I don’t care if you are in the middle of a test, or on the other side of campus doing PE. When that alarm goes off. You go test. Period. And for the first month he must text me at both times with his number.

I hate demanding. I hate it. But what else is a mom to do? Sure, his last A1C was a pretty good 7.2, but he needs to learn good habits now. It’s not healthy. And what if he was low…it is scary not to know what is going on.

I would love to get him a CGM. But so far our insurance isn’t jiggy with it.

So we do what we have to do. I'm dying inside. I love him so much.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings…

8 comments:

  1. Oh Meri. You are an awesome D Mom. You said all the right things. You approach all this in the "right" way.....Medtronic? Did you see my post today about Maddison and the CGM? We arent using ours. I will send it to you in a heartbeat...SERIOUSLY. Just say the word. A trial run would be great for him right now.

    I never had training for the CGM....Setting it up is common sense if you know how to think pump language. JUST SAY THE WORD....or email me....
    kel4han@yahoo.com I have 6 sensors waiting for someone who needs them.....

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  2. Oh Meri you are a great mom and yeah when you have a teenager with diabetes it is so important to stress that they take care of themselves when you are not around . I know I had one . You are doing it right and so glad you got through to him . and the insurance companys can suck it !!LOL !!!

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  3. Meri, it sounds like you handled the situation great. It must be hard to have a teenager with D! Proud of you!

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  4. GREAT TALK MOM!!! Sounds like it went well :) You will have to let us all know how he did today.

    Also, what watch did you get? The ones we have wont let us set 2 alarms, but we need 2.

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  5. He is such a sweet kid. Boys tend to zone out a lot and not pay attention. I'm sure he'll get it eventually.

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  6. Good job ! I'm not really looking forward to the "letting go" phase in a few years. Adele isn't embarassed by us taking care of her diabetes... yet.

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  7. Ay yi yi...no letting go!!! NO NO NO!!!

    I'm getting palpitations just thinking about it...

    Well done, mom and dad. Keep posting so I have a reference for when it's my turn.

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  8. Awesome talk. I am an advocate of being honest with our d kids...what good is it to sugar coat things? I think they should hear age appropriate information about the disease they live with...it will only benefit them. Good job!

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