Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Diabetes will always be crazy.

It will always be crazy.

Somebody has to say it.

When people are newly diagnosed with Type 1, they are told that honeymoons can be crazy.  Yes, the pancreas kicks in as much insulin as it feels like.  Yes, sometimes it likes to overcompensate for the highs.  Yes, one never knows WHEN it will help and when it won’t. Yes, it is crazy.

But when the honeymoon is over, the crazy doesn’t end…you are only introduced to a new brand of crazy.  Figured out the correct amount of basal insulin to use?  Things going good?  GREAT! 

It’s going to change next week.

Is that first year crazy after the honeymoon is over?  Absolutely crazy.  I’ll be the first to tell you…but the problem is people think once they get passed that first year, things will not be crazy.

They think that there will be more ((shudder)) control.  Like it's an automatic thing that just happens when diabetes has been around for awhile.

It will always be crazy.

If you have a child they will grow all the time.  There will be a month here and there when they will stop growing, and they won’t be sick and you’ll be all, “Hey, we’re over the crazy!”


Because then vacation starts.

Or testing starts.

Or a sport starts.

Or they are fighting with their friends and they are emotional.

Or it’s that time of the month.

Or, I don’t know…it’s Sunday?

There is always crazy being flung like rogue snowballs right at our face.

 And when we are beamed with one, we think…it can’t get crazier than this.

And then it does.

 Diabetes ebbs and flows crazy.  I think that should be made clear from the get go. 

There will be good days.  Good months, even good years.  Heck, J had a good 4 years once.  It happens.

But crazy is par for the course.

And instead of being surprised by it, it has served me well to expect it.

Because then it doesn’t sting so bad.

That melted snowball feels good going down, and in some cases I relish in throwing snowballs back, bringing all the crazy down a notch.

 It’s ok that things are not perfect, because they never ever ever will be.

Doing the work is enough.

Catching the crazy, and dealing with it is enough. 

Take one snowball at a time and do what must be done.  Crush it.  Melt it.  Throw it back. For crying in a bucket, eat the damn things.    

Just do SOMETHING…and it will be enough.

It’s the ignoring that gets us in trouble.

I wish I could make every teen understand. 

Something is better than nothing.

Crazy is ok.  Crazy is normal.  It’s the acting on it that has power.

Push the buttons and it will be enough.

Correct that high and it will be enough.

Correct that low and it will be enough.

Find out what the number is and it will be enough.

Be honest with your Endo and it will be enough.

Hiding from the crazy just puts you smack dab in middle of a blizzard.  If you ignore it, more snowballs come, at higher speed, and being constantly pelted all day long gets exhausting.  

And hurts you.

Diabetes is crazy.  Grab your catcher’s mitt and play some defense, and then turn the tables and start playing offense.

You’ll be surprised how less crazy your life will be…even though you are surrounded by it.


  1. Meri, I have to say, although my life is more than crazy lately, I always get around to reading your blog, even if is is the only dblog I've read this week (or month). This post is so relevant to my life right now! Keep on keeping on, and I'll try to manage the same :)

  2. I love my D- girls and have accepted this Crazy D-life for being exactly that. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words :)

  3. CrAzY is where we have been more so than not lately. Teen? Ummm....YEP. I always pride Maddi on being such a GREAT boluser. She almost never misses a bolus (even if she guesses) ....but now that she is home alone all Summer most days she doesn't like to check her sugar. She "doesn't remember" she says. -Sigh- Im with you, something is better than nothing!!

    "At least she boluses" I say. But, now that she "forgets" to test Im chasing numbers (highs from eating all day!) from bolus to bolus to bolus. CRaZy for sure. I tried to give her freedom and responsibility from Mom texting her multiple times a day, but I guess she just isn't/doesn't want that just yet. So texting we will be! What do you do for carb counting/BG check reminders now that you are working all Summer Meri!!?? OY. Its making me crazy.

  4. This is what is so hard to explain to non D people including family and friends. Thanks for putting it into words that others can understand!

  5. What Julie said...

    I never really started getting through to people at work until I described my diabetes like you did here. Until then, it was all "Just follow the formula, and you'll never have a problem-- why can't you do that?". Thanks for spelling it out for everyone. Hope the cray-cray is at a minimum right now.


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