Sometimes life has a way of throwing us
curve balls. Things happen that we don't expect and it takes the will of a
thousand prayers to keep us walking upright.
Last week I was taken to the
edge of my will. I pushed the envelope so hard I almost lost my ability to
think in the process. Worry has a funny way of making you feel vulnerable and
alone. Its easy to shut out the rest of the world and wallow in our own cave of
misery.
I tried to do that on Saturday at the Friends For Life
Conference.
I failed.
But first, a little back
story...
We left for the Children With Diabetes Friends for Life
Conference on Tuesday evening. We got to our flight no problems and settled
into our seats excitedly. Well, most of us did. J sat there pale and
shivering.
Was I expecting my 14 year old to have a wicked case of the chills as our plane took off? Was I expecting to stay up all night with him as the Advil
wouldn't quell the heat of his fever? Did I expect to turn to Jeff Hitchcock
for help to find an urgent care facility and then wait at the said urgent care
facility for 5 hours to finally see a doctor for strep?
No. Wasn't expecting that at all.
Did I expect
to see lovely faces from the interwebz and hug them tight?
Yes, absolutely.
Did I expect they would
encircle me with the love and friendship that they did?
To be honest, I don't
know what I was expecting. But what I do know is the sincere kindness and love we were shown went far beyond casual Internet connections. It was more of a family reunion
with people that don't know what it means to be artificial. They are real in more
than just a tangible sense. They are everything they pour out onto their blogs,
they are all the support they post on Facebook, they are every bit as fun and
funny as they are in the twitter-verse.
Corny-ly enough, they are friends for
life.
Did I expect to take Ryan to the emergency room in Florida?
Seriously, I
didn't expect it...but I secretly feared it. 8 hours of waiting just to hear the
doctor tell us his cancer has spread to one of his adrenal glands. The severe
pain he was experiencing in his back came from a tumor that had bled, as melanoma tumors like to
do...
And as word spread of our situation, people jumped at the chance to
help. People from the DOC that I know and love...and strangers....STRANGERS who didn't know
me. They came out of the woodwork to drive us to hospitals and pharmacies, to
feed us, to pray for us...to show us what a friend for life really is.
We may all be different. We may have political views that are
polarizing...we may care for ourselves and our families differently, but there
is a common thread that connects us. That thread is love, and it is spun from
the spirit of sameness and understanding.
As I sat encircled by beautiful people in the DOC offering prayers on our behalf, I sobbed deeply in a place that I haven't allowed myself to go in awhile. And after I let myself mourn. I felt the peace return. I know it is going to be ok.
It seems impossible, but when I was sitting in the emergency room with Ryan the phrase, "God can make a way when there is no way," came to my mind. Over and over again.
I don't know how everything is going to be ok again, but I don't think it's my job to question that right now. My job is to hold onto my faith...and my hope.
In between all the hoopla, we did enjoy a couple days of classes and bonding with friends. I have volumes to write and I know it will be cathartic to get it all down on virtual paper.
To all my friends at Friends for Life that offered support and love to us...thank you.
I love you.
To all of you that read my blog and send love, prayers and good thoughts or way...thank you.
I love you.
It is from your example I'm learning what being a Friend for Life is all about.
Oh sweet Meri and family, I have lifted you in prayer each and every day. I am thinking about you my dear friend and sending you love.
ReplyDeleteMeri, I love you and your family more than I can say. I'm thankful I got to spend some real-life time with you all, and even though we are no longer together I hope you know I have sent a piece of me home with you. Pete and I are sending love and positive vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteOh, Meri. I went to your facebook page today to catch up on your trip. I was sidetracked with our own trip last week. I am so sorry for the rough time you had, but I am so thankful for the love you experienced. I prayed that it would be an awesome week. Not sure that you would say that prayer was answered or not. Will keep praying for you! Love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew the right nig to say.
ReplyDeleteI can say you inspire me, I can't wait to make it to Cali and hug you tight, I pray for you everyday and I love you my friend who lives in my computer,
I am thinking of you and your family constantly. I like to close my eyes and remember the moment that I was hugging you in real life...and hope you feel our love now as much as you did then.
ReplyDeleteLove to you and your family, Meri... Glad that you had so much support when you needed it. Praying for you guys.
ReplyDeleteThe news shook all of us who were around you this past week. You've have so much strength and with the insane amount of people who are rooting for you and your family, we can do this!
ReplyDeleteI was sad to hear the turn of events. I tried to maybe run into you but I never did....PS the DOC rocks!!! Prayers for your entire family.
ReplyDeleteoh meri, i wish i could hug you again! know that you and your family are loved beyond measure, and that i am thinking of and praying for you daily.
ReplyDeletei am so thankful to have had the opportunity to meet you and your amazing family. you're right- FFL is like a family reunion, because the DOC is a family.
love you! <3
Prayers for you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Meri... just want to reach through and give you all a huge hug. So sorry that all played out, but I'm equally glad that there were so many friends there to help, physically and emotionally. You are all so loved, without a doubt. Sending our love and prayers and wishes from this end. Rest up. Looking forward to reading your beautiful posts, when you're up to it. Best to you and all your guys, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI love how God always knows what we need even before we do. He sent you a wonderful support group when you needed it most. I'm so sorry to hear about Ryan. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMeri, I don’t even know what to say. Your family is going through so much and you are so strong. You are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't the experience I had hoped you'd have, but I'm so glad you were surrounded by such love and support. Big hugs, lots of love and daily prayers!!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeletePrayers and hugs for all of you.
ReplyDeletesending PRAYERS, hugs and love your guys way !!!!
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are loved beyond words. "God can make a way when there is no way,"... I love that. Hold onto it as tight as possible and we will hold on to you as tight as possible; even from thousands of miles away. I love you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you didn't all get to have a stress-free break you were hoping for but am glad you were surrounded by such loving support. Sending strength and love.
ReplyDeleteMeri - I love you and your family so much and I didn't want to let go of you when we were hugging at breakfast yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to send you & yours boatloads of love and prayers and positive vibes everyday - And whatever you need me to do, consider it done.
I LOVE YOU.
Kelly K
sending prayers, strength and hope to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, and your family, and keeping you all close. Much, much love, Meri.
ReplyDeletePrayers, Love and Hugs for all of you. Even though your trip wasn't all that you expected I'm glad you had the love and support of the DOC.
ReplyDeleteSending continued prayers, I wish I could do more.))
ReplyDeletethinking about you and yours ((HUGS)) glad you guys got to experience FFL, I so wish we could've been there. Take care.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you all in my thoughts, and mentally sending some more Chick-fil-A. :)
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you all!
With 7 Diet Cokes and LOTS of Polynesian sauce!! :)
Delete(hold the pickles)
<3
ReplyDeleteMeri - we pray daily for Ryan, you and your family.
ReplyDeleteA family reunion...so perfectly describes it!
ReplyDeleteIt was so amazing to get to meet you and your amazing family. I wish all of the health crap would have given you all a break! But, what better place than surrounded by new family that loves you!
Meri, it was a real honor to meet your family (and surround you with prayer power!). You guys are incredible.
ReplyDeletei didn't know any of this until you mentioned it when you were leaving. i'm glad i got to see you, if only very briefly. i am so glad you were surrounded by love and support at FFL and radiating outward. <3
ReplyDelete