Valentines Day: Wherein...I get knocked down.

Captains Log: Valentines Day…the REAL Valentines Day, was wonderful…the kids had the day off thanks to the broke California School System, so we enjoyed a day at the movies and just plain relaxin!

BUUUUUUT: Last Friday was the real/fake school Valentines Day Celebrations.

Rating: F for “what the FLIP happened?!”

It started with L not bolusing for breakfast. This has become a problem. I tell him what to bolus…he takes out his pump…and for some flippin reason, it just doesn’ t happen. I’m talkin’ like twice a week. Out of nowhere! So…it is my job now. I give the breakfast boluses…

But I digress.

Friday…he didn’t get that Bolus, and he called me at snack with a lovely…(NOT)…425.

"Bolus"…I tell him. And he boluses. By lunch he is 140 and is rearing to go!

(Side note: I used to pick the boys up immediately when they were so high. But you know what happened...within the hour...they were fine. And then I had to bring them back. So the new rule is, if they want to stay, and the teacher doesn't feel like it is bringing them too down, I let them stay. If they don't come down nicely by the next check I pick them up. But I'm not so fast to pick them out of school anymore. I give them a choice. They usually choose to stay.)

So…of course he wanted to stay…it was the Valentines Party for goodness sake!!!

L called me at 2:00, as I was driving to the school. “I’m going to have a small strawberry muffin.”

“A muffin? That is weird.”

“Well, it is pink. And it looks like a muffin to me...”

“Fine. 30 carbs. I’ll be right there.”

What that small strawberry muffin turned out to be was a strawberry cupcake with frosting piled higher than the cupcake. It was a 60 carber for sure. But if that wasn’t enough…he has already eaten almost ALL the candy from his bag.

Hold the phone! How the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS was that allowed?

“My teacher said so!”

I looked up and there was a sub. She works in the class, so she knows of his diabetes. I walked over to her and mentioned that L had just eaten 10 starbursts, 3 Hershey kisses and 2 fun sized candy bars.

“I kept asking if he was ok!” She says. “I kept asking if he had checked his sugar!” She says.

I know…she doesn’t KNOW. I can’t blame her…but my fail was only made more insulting when I walked into B’s classroom and he was chomping on a Hershey kiss.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did…you didn’t answer.”

“So did you check your sugar?”

“Of course!”

“Did you bolus for any of this.”

“Nope.”

“What did you eat?”

“A cupcake, 2 cookies and most of my candy.”

“B, you KNOW you shouldn’t have eaten all that! And incidentally...my crystal ball is broken. How am I supposed to know how many carbs you actually ate?”

“I know mom…but it's Valentines Day!”

How am I to argue with that? He is almost always responsible. What would my rebuttal had been? “How dare you want to be a normal kid! How dare you enjoy this party!”

Heaven help me. Heaven please please help me.

I SWAGed the carbs for the boys…I purposely rage bolused because I was so disgusted with myself and the complete lack of help I get in the school system.

Their sugars were brilliant after. But that wasn't the point. The point was…I was so flipping tired of these battles…of these “incidents!” I lamented for hours that I didn't have a pinch hitter, and at the same time I felt so sucky about it because someday I will be able to walk away from this, (for the most part,) and my boys will not. Diabetes had me down...big time. I felt like I was failing my boys. I was D.O.N.E.

And then the next day...the VERY NEXT DAY...the boys numbers were spot on. They called me and texted me when they were supposed to. B called and said there was a birthday, but he would rather eat the cupcake when he was home with me. Everything went smooth as silk.

And I feel better.

Diabetes is such a emotional roller coaster. One day you can be SO down in the dumps. SO tired and DONE with this disease, and the next day you are like, "I totally got this."

It reminds me of this song. The chorus of the song is really the only thing relevant here...but it is so true for us living the Diabetic Life...I had to embed it into this post. I just had to.

We get knocked down...ALL THE TIME! But you know what...we get back up again, every time. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. We ALWAYS get back up. And that is something...