J turns 13 today…and if you haven’t noticed from my previous “twelvish” comments…I’m not having an easy time accepting it all.
You see in my eyes, J is still that little scrawny baby boy who was just diagnosed. Yes, he has grown. Yes, he is smart and funny and amazing. But, despite all that…he is still my child.
Well, WAS still my child.
Now he is my teenager.
I had a hard time adjusting with him taking over his diabetes care. It was a long process, but he is now pretty independent in almost all he does. I finally agreed to give up counting his carbs for him…but how in the heck can I agree to let him give up his childhood?
He is sitting on the couch next to me right now, and I am marveling how he became this young man. I spent so many years taking care of him, attending closely to his every need…and now, he doesn’t need me as much anymore. He is independent with his school work and with his diabetes care. He can bathe himself, make his own breakfast and pick out his own clothes in the morning. He doesn’t need the help my other little boys do.
He is growing up. I can’t stop it…and like I said, I am surprisingly conflicted about the whole thing.
When M turned 13 I thought it was the coolest thing. But J turning 13 just seems like he has jumped into a portal that will take him to adulthood.
Ummm…nope, not ready for that.
I know a lot of mothers who read this wonder how you will ever give some of the D care over to your child. You wonder how you will let go. It isn’t easy…but somehow life goes on, and these things inevitably happen. Even if you are not cognizant of the immediate changes…change happens anyway.
J went on a campout last weekend with the scouts. As I was schooling him on all the things he has to do for his care he stopped me in my tracks…
He took me by the shoulders and said, “Mom! Mom! I can handle this. I’ve grown up. I know what to do.”
And he was right. He did handle it. He did know what to do.
I’m proud of who he has become. I’m thankful that he is here with us. When he was diagnosed at 8 months old, we almost lost him. Every birthday is a blessing…
There are just so darn many of them, you know?
That brought a tear to my eye. I can't even imagine a 13 year old Bryce telling me he's got it. Granted I have over 6 years before that happens! Be proud Mama, you did good. Happy Birthday to your no longer twelvish J.
ReplyDeleteNow you need to update his age on your sidebar, too! I think 13 is huge...one of those milestones that marks an important spot in his, and your life. I can't even imagine how it feels since his dx at such an early age. I love how positive you are through it all and come out with the cheery side or at least an adventurous take on life and lessons learned.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy each birthday!
Big hugs, Meri! I have no idea how hard it is to watch your child turn into a teenager, but I'm not looking forward to finding out! If it makes you feel any better, from what I know of teenagers, J is going to need you more now in many other ways! He may look grown up, but his most important growing years are still ahead of him. I'm sure having a mom like you will make them that much easier on him!
ReplyDeleteAwe...you should be proud he has all the confidence in the world. That's all on you, honey.
ReplyDeleteI had a moment today when I met a new client and she asked me how old my kids were. When I said my daughter is 17, I almost choked. All I could hear in my head was the father figure from My Big Fat Greek Wedding...."You looka Old" Let's just say I had a hard time getting the meeting back on track.
Happy Birthday J!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday J! And congrats to you and your hubby Meri - for raising such and independent and great young man! There, I said it, young man. Sorry about that.
ReplyDeleteElise already ACTS like a teenager, so I guess I'm halfway there! Happy Birthday J!
ReplyDelete(Elise says hi Auntie Meri!)
And what a HANDSOME teenager he is :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your handsome family...what a GIFT it is to see them grow up.
XOXOXOXO
Why are there so many darn Birthday?!? I mean, do we HAVE to have one EVERY year??
ReplyDeleteI always tell Jack, "Even when you're all grown up, you'll still be my baby." He thinks I'm being funny when I say that, but I'm dead serious. He will always be my baby, as will my other two kids. I totally get how you've been feeling.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that J is so mature and capable, well, that's a reflection of you and Ryan. Good job, mom and dad!!!
..... and then you get grandbabies! :D THE BEST!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet, responsible young man. You should be so very proud.
ReplyDelete