An open letter to Glucose Tablets:

Dear Tabs, (Can I call you Tabs?)

Hi there! It’s me, Meri. I want to first of all thank you for all the hard work you do for the diabetic community. You save lives. What can I say? I think we both know- that you know- how wonderful you are. It’s kinda’ obvious you KNOW the good that you do. I mean look at you sitting there…you look like you mean business, and your label is so smugly appealing! You’ve got it going on!

Yeah, but here’s the thing…You are chalky and gross and my boys hate you.

I KNOW!! Craziness! How can it be?? You are like a nutritional staple in so many diabetics lives…how in the world can my boys shun you? How can they reject you when you come in so many amazing flavors? Hello, Sour Apple…I mean, I would eat you in a heartbeat.

But not my cutie patootie boys. Honestly, I’m not being dramatic when I say they would rather pass out than eat you. Harsh I know…but when they are really low, and I shove one of you in their mouth, you are rejected every time. They won’t have you. They push you out with their tongue, they spit you out, OR…they gag.

They would rather have apple juice when they are really low. Who woulda thunk it? Sweet silky satisfying apple juice…sounds gross to me. But what ev’…I’m not diabetic.

And when they need a boost with a little fat, (because apple juice may get the job done, but it’s not gonna bring em home if you know what I mean…Do you know what I mean? I mean apple juice will bring them up, but won’t keep them there, so it’s good, but not great)….anyway if they are above 70 and want to go up and stay up THEY CHOOSE three different options. Yogos, pudding or a banana. These guys bring my boys bloods sugars up…and KEEP them where they are supposed to be. How can I argue…it works. They aren’t all my first choice of food groups for my boys, but the results are so satisfying, and the boys happiness IS the most important thing to me in the world...so...

Not that you wouldn’t do the job too, it’s just that…it is what it is.

And what it is…is…they hate you.

And I can’t MAKE them like you.

So please. Stop jumping into my cart at Target…because no matter how many times I bring you home…they WILL NOT CHEW YOU!

Someday, when they are older…they will find you much more convenient, and I’m sure they will cherish every last one of you. But until then…it’s Auf Wiedersehen . (But between you and me, I’m going to keep one little tube of you in my purse. Just in case they grow up already and agree to eat you.)

In closing, as much as I love, and appreciate your contribution….it is pretty much over.

Thanks for the love Tabs. And if you ever figure out how NOT to be chalky, but creamy and appetizing…let me know. I’ll sneak you into the food cupboard and pass you off as new hole-less lifesavers, and then maybe they’ll give you a whirl.

Sincerely, Meri
Mother of 3 wonderfully picky diabetic boys.