*I wrote this about myself. It's not completely about my diabetic life. I've been dealing with some terrible TMJ issues lately and I needed to redirect my brain to the positive. :)
I walk around all day feeling sorry for myself.
I wonder if normal will ever reveal itself.
I go through the motions, I’m barely even there.
I think I’ve done all I can do, to give my family care.
I think how no one understands why I am always sad.
I think that I’m alone and no sympathy is had.
I wonder why no one cares to ask about my life,
Of how my day is going, or even wonder of my strife.
I paint a picture of a life that is bitter, tired and sad.
But truth be told, when push comes to shove, my life is not so bad.
I take for granted everyday my sons smiles and their glee.
I take for granted all that is done to help my family.
I take for granted that there are those who treat me oh so dear.
I take for granted my husband’s love, he always makes it clear.
I take for granted that I’m strong enough to do what I need to do.
I take for granted, when it comes to T1, the world just doesn’t have a clue.
I take my house for granted, and the warmth it provides for me.
I take my God for granted as he listens to my pleas.
I take for granted I can walk, and see my boys each day.
I take for granted I can laugh and giggle while they play.
I mostly take for granted all the blessings that we have,
So is it any wonder that no sympathy is had?
Why would one feel sorry for one who has it all?
I have a family who is wonderful and we always have a ball.
I have what I’ve always wanted, so now’s the time to be content.
I can’t live this way anymore, I must the bad forget.
For surely you can understand, and for this I am truly glad,
That in my life, it is clear, that the good outweighs the bad.
It’s all about perspective and not seeing all the good.
It’s all about focusing on what I think I should.
Shall I continue to hate the things that throw a wrench into my plans?
Or shall I count my blessings and continue doing what I can.
I can’t control those around me or the world I see.
But I can control one important thing, and friends, that thing Is me.
Feeling sorry for myself will only tear me down.
I’m sick and tired of my face and this insipid frown.
I’m going to stop taking for granted my life and my family,
It’s time for me to make a stand and start living happily.
Pity party’s over…
It’s time to take in the view
Let not the sadness tarry
To my cheer, I will be true.
VERY nice Meri!
ReplyDeleteI must say....I dont think most of us that live a D life play a pity party tune, or feel sorry for ourselves. Some days it all just gets to us. It heavies the heart. That doesnt mean we pity our life! Keep on writing....you are awesome!
Thanks Kelly. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you all don't think I wrote this about you, or our community. This was written by me, about only me. I've had a really hard week...and ya, I've been pity partying it up. I have been feeling sorry for myself. Not just diabetes wise...I've been in constant, unrelievable pain with my TMJ for a month now, and I'm battling with all my heart the depression that is looming because of it. :(
OH, Meri ...
ReplyDelete(((SUPER CYBER HUGS)))
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I will pray for your pain and for your continued strength to do all that you do.
I hope you're able to take a breath and enjoy the view. Sometimes our world looks cloudy when there's so much sitting on our shoulders.
Jesus can lift that burden...lean on Him and allow yourself the gift of enjoying each moment.
(((MORE HUGS)))
TMJ is not fun. When I was 25ish, my jaw locked open! I could still close my lips, mind you, but I could not close my teeth together. I wound up relaxing in about an hour, but man was that scary! I'm supposed to wear a "bit" at night to prevent the grinding that causes mine, but it hurt more each morning than not wearing it. (I did however grind a hole in it) My husband will tell me to this day to stop grinding my teeth....and that's during the day! He always says "relax your jaw". I get headaches related to it, and I can not for any reason chew gum for very long. I don't know pain like you're having, but I know major discomfort, and it sucks you have to feel this!
ReplyDeleteIn the world of D-life....you are the master! You are allowed to have down days/weeks/months, you handle ALOT! (my D-life is nada compared to yours)
This too shall pass.
I just had some recent battles with TMJ too, YEP! It sure causes the depressive feelings! Hard to move on with life with all the pain! I'm sorry! I know how you are feeling! No, silly....I didnt think you were writing about ME....okay....maybe a little, LOL!!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunetly I always FEEL like I cast a gloomy cloud...which in my blog of course I do! I dont write to inspire so much anymore, because venting is more what I need at this point in my life :( I hope you start to feel better!!
Meri, Meri, Meri I knew you were not writing that about me but you could have been - that's for sure! I think you are such an inspiration. Seriously, you have so much on your plate with your boys and now the TMJ pain. I think you are amazing. I hope the pain is better soon. I do know how you feel - I had surgery for my TMJ about 15 years ago and it really helped! I had to wear a hideous mouth piece afterwords but it really seemed to help a lot.
ReplyDeleteI pray for relief of your pain and for the strength to handle all that you have to do each day.
Hugs to you from Texas!!
Oh Meri, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I hate how this stupid disease affects us the way it does, but you are an amazing woman, wife and mother... don't forget that!
ReplyDeleteYou are so great at cheering the rest of us on, don't forget to cheer yourself on from time to time, okay?
Lots of ((HUGS))!!! So sorry your dealing with the pain of TMJ. I've never had it...but have heard it can be excruciating. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteYOU hang in there...you are loved and I am praying for you girlie!
I can relate to what you wrote. It's hard. Hugs to you!
ReplyDelete