When I sat my cutie down on Monday to tell him my intentions, he pretended to faint back onto the couch and said I was the most awesome mom ever.
Yeah, so I knew I was doing something right.
I want to start out by saying that I really didn't expect to see anything eye opening here...I mean...for YEARS I did do everything. I did every check, opened every apple juice box, bolused every meal and correction...everything when they were babies. My boys, on their own, took it over when they turned six. They each expressed their own interest to push their own buttons and check their own sugar. Hey, who am I to stand in the way of their taking control of their life?
If they WANTED to do it...all I could do is assume a supporting role and let them fly.
It has been a good year since I have had all three of the boys doing their own "work." J even counts his own carbs now, and boluses for his own meals...leaving me with nothing left to do but check him at night.
If I'm being honest, it has been a bit heavenly for me to let go of all the button pushing and such. Sure, I count carbs for the two younger guys, I watch them to make sure they are pushing buttons, I field no less than 5 calls from school every day since we have no school nurse help...I still do A LOT...but I think I have underestimated how much work the boys are putting in.
Scratch that...I KNOW I have underestimated how much work the boys put in.
I kinda feel like I've had a bucket of cold water splashed on my face.
You know what? Yes...checking sugar only takes less than a minute...but the interrupting is SO annoying! I found myself in the middle of something numerous times this week...and I had to stop cold, and go get the monitor and check L. Although I was happy to do it for him, it really opened my eyes to what a pain it must be for him to leave his television program, or stop riding his scooter, or stop his art project...to test and treat. He is 7, stopping is a total bummer! When he was a baby, this wasn't an issue...babies change what they are doing at the drop of a hat, but now that he is older...well...this isn't as easy as it used to be. It seriously is a pain in the arse for him.
Even taking the time to figure out what to feed him in a low. L always goes to the low cupboard and picks something out. This week if he was low, I would have him sit back in a comfortable chair and I would serve him his low snack. I would take off the wrapper on the straw...I would open his apple sauce pouch for him, peel the banana and so forth...
I wish you could have seen his smile. I am not kidding, all week...pure joy.
He is enjoying every minute of it...and I don't blame him. I caught myself a couple times asking him to come to me so I could bolus him...and each time stopped myself when I realized I needed to go to him.
I took the advice of a great mom on facebook, and checked his morning sugar before he woke up so he wouldn't have to start his day with diabetes on the brain.
BIG HIT. I recommend to all! Every time I told him it was already done, it was like Santa came to visit.
Sure...there were some misses. I didn't bolus him Monday night for dinner, because I was so used to him asking me, "How many carbs mom?"
He also forgot, and checked his own sugar when he felt low once. He came out and sheepishly told me he forgot and I whisked him to the couch to put his feet up and served him his snack on a platter.
Hey...it is a vacation!
Sure, he had to check his own sugar at school. Sure, the other two boys are like WHAT THE HECK?! We want a vacation!
Which...they will get one.
Because seriously...this is the best idea ever!
I had NO IDEA what a big deal it would be around here. L is appreciative of every little thing I do. Lesson learned...I'm going to check his sugar for him more often at home so he needn't stir when he is in the middle of something.
I'm humbled by my boys' strength. They never complain about the monotony of it all. I don't know why this experience was so powerful for me, like I said...I've been down this road before. But man...mama has seen the light.
I have been putting a lot their plate. Diabetes has been putting a lot on their plate.
Time to lessen the load a bit.
I whole-heartedly endorse the checking bg's before you wake them up...I do it for Mags, even though she's 16. I also try to give her a break on Saturday mornings by checking her bg and feeding and relieving Olivia so she can sleep in. It's the little things in life. And even though she's perfectly capapble of doing her own set change, she almost always has me do it for her. I figure as long as she knows how to do it, so she can when I'm not around...
ReplyDeleteOur kids have a life time of having to deal with all the D-stuff, I don't mind giving her a break so that she can just be a teenager.
What a wonderful experience all the way around. The "VACAY" for L and the eye-opener for you. I mean...you knew...but to be reminded...wow. I think I will be more aware and tuned into any "VACAY" needs around here with Joe. Loved this experience Meri. Thank you for sharing with all of us other D' Rents. We learn so much from one another.
ReplyDeleteoh, Meri this brought a few happy tears to my eyes. You guys are such an amazing team over there, I am forever impressed with how you work together figure things out and go with it in a positive manner. I appreciate your sharing these moments with us and wish I could give you a great big hug for doing this for your son (and other boys, too). THANKS a million for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMerri, I have recently discovered your blog. I LOVE it!! Thanks so much for sharing this experience.
ReplyDeleteMy little guy is 4yrs and living with D for 2+yrs. I have always wondered what the future will look like: How much he/we should do in terms of care. Thanks!!
I LOVE that you validate what a job it is - it is!
Great job loving on those boys, Mama!
The nuisance factor is definitely what my boys hate the most. (Remember Tiernan's sisyphean pococurantism). I have been getting their numbers for them before they wake up. I wish they would let me do more now that they are older but they won't.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could take the entire burden off of them- wouldn't it be awesome to lend them our pancreas for awhile so they could take a complete pass on it? Sigh.
I was laughing and clapping my hands and in general, sitting here acting like a big 'ol dorkorama while reading this update.
ReplyDeleteI. Love. it
I love that L loved it.
I love that the other boys loved it.
I love that YOU loved it.
You superduperdalyicious rock the D-boat, Meri.
Woo-to-the-Hoo!!!
You are AWESOME!!!! That is all that needs to be said.
ReplyDeleteYAY for a Vacay! Sometimes I ask my hubby to get my pump ready for me to do a site change...but he always gives me a funny look! He doesnt "get" what a PITA it is sometimes when you just dont want to do it. I wish Diabetes were like laundry and we could just decide to deal with it another day....
ReplyDeleteHubby and I also always have the debate about me doing "too much" for Maddison (like the Vacay you are talkin about) but I just ignore him. Most days Maddie does things herself (besides carb counting and night checks!) but sometimes I just pick it up for her because I can see she is "busy" or had a tough day....isn't that what we are supposed to do? Help each other out when things get tough? I think so. Good job Momma Meri! One day he will look back and remember the vacays Mom used to give him!
How awesome... I also love the idea of checking before they get up. I may have to test that one :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad it was such a great experience for you and for L. I can totally see the other boys being jealous...especially of the feet up, snack on a platter low treatments!!
ReplyDeleteShoot, I'd love for someone to serve me a snack from time to time!!!
I need to be more aware of taking Bean away from 'stuff' to test. There's absolutely no reason why I can't take the PDM to her.
I would always choose to make my load heavier to lighten hers!
Making L feel sooo special had to be a wonderful experience for him. What a great week for a young boy! Snack on a platter made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a special mom for doing this and lightening his load. And thank you, cause it has opened my eyes too. This is the DOC to me, someone has a great idea, a thought, an inspiration and it lightens all our loads. You are a very special mom to your boys Meri.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this. Love the idea. Love you.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly the heartwarming sentiment I needed to read before heading to bed.
ReplyDeleteLove you, D Mama :)
Keep up the GREAT work!
Your a great Mom!
ReplyDeleteI have often thought that since Skyler was 3 when diagnosed and I had to do everything for her that I sort of know how annoying this disease is. If she were diagnosed in her teens I don't think I would have understood what a pain in the ass D is. Because I was the primary caregiver for a while I THINK I understand how intrusive it is to daily life.
I love this idea and I think I will give her a one week vacation this summer!
You are such a great mom Meri. Happy Mothers Day to you!
ReplyDeleteyou are amazing, and so are they
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! What a fantastic idea :-) Also, brought it home for me how much it is for Nicole to do everything she does (even though we do it together). Will have to offer the "vacay" to her...see what she thinks!! :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea! I've never done a "vaca" for William, but when he starts to get up resistance to testing, I'll start bringing the kit to him, getting it ready, etc., and it gets done with much less stress. I get the "data" I need, and he's happier. You're brilliant :)
ReplyDelete